#and everybody hated that lmao even the guy i was suggesting have two girlfriends

[sophiethewitch1]

Self shipping spaces are really funny to me because they're quite different from X reader stuff in that these people... Get jealous over characters. Which not judging this isn't what this is about, I write yandere X reader the call is coming from within the house I just. Have never really experienced jealousy romantically myself??? I think that might be why I like yanderes because if it was just up to me for a relationship to happen we would be getting nowhere fast lmfao

[creamiecoups]

anon : seungcheol smut!Jealous sex, degrading, ass smacking definitely. just add anything y’know! maybe you were flirting with another member and he got jealous. thank you, I don’t really know how to request, second time requesting only. ❤️

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↠  summary :  flirting with Jun just to get your boyfriend riled up really wasn’t a smart move, though you thought it meant no harm at the beginning, you realised way too late that it was a very, very bad idea.

↠  pairing : seungcheol x reader

↠ warnings :  posessive behaviour, swearing, alcohol, mentions of drinking (no one gets drunk), dom!seungcheol, rough sex (he gets out of control heh), dirty talk, unprotected sex, orgasm denial, degradation, multiple orgasms, choking, hair pulling, spanking, cheol loves your ass alot, crying, biting, creampies, overstimulation, oral (male receiving), deep throating, cum eating, slight daddy kink, slight size kink, a bit of fluff in the end

↠ word count : 11.3K words

↠ author’s note : i know i took really long to post it and im sorry in every language that exists :-( i just got kinda carried away with this one (as you can see with the word count lmao) so i took really long perfecting it and editing. but i hope y’all love it and it makes up for the long ass wait !!

Another giggle passed your lips as you leaned on Jun, taking another sip of the red wine he had poured for you earlier.

You had come over to the dorms to spend some time with the boys, and of course, your boyfriend Seungcheol.

Currently, there was only Jun, Soonyoung, Vernon, Seungkwan and Seungcheol at the dorms, the rest being god knows where. You were a bit disappointed that you couldn't see all of them but at least you could see a few of them when they weren't busy or not at home.

"Hey you two! Let's do something together, this is so unfair you can't have her all to yourself Jun!" Soonyoung whined loudly, looking at both of you in annoyance.

You were all spread out, Vernon and Seungkwan and Soonyoung were sprawled on the couch, You and Jun were sitting on the floor, and your boyfriend was somewhere in the kitchen...his hard stare on you being oblivious to you.

"Come join us then," you said, patting the seat next to you.

You suddenly felt bad for them, you and Jun had been so lost in each other's conversations that you had almost forgotten about the rest.

"No ew...I don't even get what's so funny about him, I make the better jokes," Seungkwan huffed, rolling his eyes dramatically.

"You mean your over the top drama? She laughs because I'm actually funny," Jun shot, making you chuckle.

"Okay guys that's enough...let's do something together like Soonyoung suggested," you said, before their conversation got any more heated.

You leaned your back against the couch as you took the last sip of your wine.

"Want more?" Jun asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh no that's enough...I just finished my second glass," you said, placing your empty glass on the coffee table.

"So guys, what do you want to do?" Jun asked, looking up at the guys who were still laying on the couch.

"I don't know..." Soonyoung trailed off, making you smile.

"Wow....so you bother us and go on about how you wanna do something together but you have no idea on what to do?" Jun said, rolling his eyes in annoyance.

"Yeah well I didn't care what we did it was just annoying seeing you both so close!!" Seungkwan chirped.

"Fine, fine, how about....spin the bottle?" Vernon said, getting up from his sleeping position as he looked at us.

"Ah no, that's not fair on Y/N! And plus I don't wanna kiss any of you guys," Soonyoung said, pretending to vomit.

"You say it like we want to kiss you...I just wanna play so I can get the chance of kissing her," Jun said, winking your way as you blushed, hitting his shoulder softly.

Jun would be lying to himself if he said he never found you attractive, you always were to him, but he knew not to cross the line with Seungcheol, he respected his older friends relationship and he was happy for them- but he also envied him.

"Do you wanna die in the hands of hyung that bad?" Seungkwan asked, making Jun chuckle.

"Oh please...he doesn't mind, do you cheol?" Jun asked, cocking his eyebrow towards Seungcheol.

You look towards the kitchen area, your eyes falling on Seungcheol who had his gaze fixed on you already, like he had been staring at you the entire time. You bit your bottom lip, realising you had kinda been ignoring him the past hour since you were busy talking to Jun.

"What ever made you think I'd be okay with you kissing my girlfriend?" Seungcheol shot, his eyes finally leaving yours to glare at Jun.

"Come on now...it wouldn't hurt now would it? It's just a kiss after all...right Y/N?" Jun asked, turning to look at you.

"Uh..u-uhm..."

You looked down to your entwined hands, ignoring both of their stares on you..Jun wanting to know what you would say, and Seungcheol daring you to agree with Jun.

"This won't...end good I can feel it," you heard Vernon whisper to Seungkwan, making you agree...mentally of course.

"O-okay guys! Let's play truth or dare, everybody loves that game!" Soonyoung suddenly said, getting up from his seat on the couch to come and sit next to Jun.

"Yeah... teenagers do," Seungkwan mumbled, getting up aswell, before dragging Vernon up.

"But whatever...just thank you for lightening the mood!" Seungkwan added, joining you three on the floor, already forming a circle.

Soonyoung smiled, giving you a reassuring nod to which you smiled back, thanking him silently for saving you from the awkward situation you were in.

"Seungcheol hyung, you joining?" Vernon asked, before sitting next to you.

"Yeah, whatever," he muttered gruffly, walking over to where you guys were seated on the floor.

"Awh why did you call him? He's a party pooper!" Jun groaned, rolling his eyes.

"Seriously, who the fuck says that anymore?" Vernon snorted, making you laugh.

"Move," Seungcheol's voice broke away your laugh as you looked up at him, his eyes were on Vernon.

"Ah right, my bad," Vernon said, scooting more to Seungkwan's side so Seungcheol could sit between you too.

"Okay now that we're all seated...anybody have an app or something? Or do you just want to say random stuff?" Soonyoung asked.

"Nah I hate the apps, let's just say what we feel like saying," Jun said, making everyone nod- well except for Seungcheol, who was too busy being bored, he had only said yes so he could monitor Jun and you.

He trusted you, with his entire life, there was no doubt about that...but Jun on the other hand or any of the other members at that, they were his closest friends and he also trusted them...but boys will be boys and he knew he had to be careful in case any of them got a bit too, well....touchy.

"Okay then, who wants to go first?" Seungkwan asked, as you crossed your legs, your pleated skirt riding up your thigh.

Jun's eyes fell to your thighs unwillingly, as he swallowed thickly, moving his eyes away quickly before someone caught him...and what he didn't realise was, Seungcheol was watching him the entire time and had seen him catch a glimpse of his girlfriend.

Seungcheol's jaw twitched, as he grabbed your wrist before pulling you up quickly.

"What are you doing cheol?" You asked innocently, unaware of the looks you had just received.

"Your staying the night so you should be comfortable..and this will not keep you warm," he said, eyeing Jun.

"Oh you can borrow my hood-"

"She has my clothes so don't worry," Seungcheol snapped, cutting Jun off his sentence.

Jun bit back a laugh, knowing he was really starting to piss his older friend off.

You just stayed still as Seungcheol dragged you from the lounge area and into the corridor to his room.

He locked it behind you both, before turning to look at you.

"Did you really not have anything else to wear today?" He asked, jaw clenched tightly.

"I came straight here after meeting up with my friends," you said, looking down at your outfit.

"What's wrong with it?"

"What's wrong? It's so fucking short that anyone could see your ass with one bend of your knees," he shot, eyeing you angrily.

"Cheol calm down..plus I do look cute in it," you said back, as you bat your eyelashes at him.

Seungcheol sighed, ignoring you as he walked into his closet.

You frown deeply as your fingers curled into fists, was he really not going to compliment you?

"Cheolie..do you really not find me hot in this?" You sulked, holding onto his muscular arm that you oh so loved.

"Let go of me, I'm trying to find something for you to wear," he mumbled gruffly, making you whine.

"But cheol...look at me, you have to admit-"

He pulled your arm off him, before roughly pushing you towards the wall.

"What the hell Seungcheol!"

"Yeah, you fucking do look hot, so hot that I'm trying my hardest not to bend you over right now and fuck the living hell out of you so you never dare wear something like this ever again," he spat, catching you off guard.

"That's what you wanted to hear, right?"

"I-I.."

His hands trailed down your back slowly, his stare on you cold and hard.

"I've been watching you princess...so don't think I don't notice your flirting.."

His hands smoothed up and down your ass, making you bite your lip before you could let out a whine.

"I'm not flirting...I'm just being friendly," you bravely said as you felt his lips on your neck. He wasn't doing anything, just keeping his lips on your skin but that was enough to have your entire body burning.

"Don't lie sweetheart....I know you have a really bad habit of pissing me off....so if I were you, I would stop being so flirty with my friends or you'll really get it from me..understand?" He growled, making you nod.

"Words sweetheart," he warned, moving away from your neck to look at your flushed face.

You smirked, before replying innocently. "I understand, daddy."

Seungcheol's eyes visibly darkened, as he licked his lips.

"I wouldn't play like that with me darling," Seungcheol snapped, bringing his face dangerously close to yours.

"Cheol...my clothes," you reminded him, pushing him off you.

"..Right," he huffed, looking at you one last time before moving away to get out a hoodie and sweatpants for you to wear.

"You...wore this last time you came I'm pretty sure, it should fit," he mumbled, probably to himself as he took out a simple pair of black sweatpants, before handing it to you.

"As for a hoodie since it's cold...."

"Hah...speaking of hoodies...I have like five of yours still in my apartment," you said, smiling at him sheepishly.

He turned around, his eyes soft once again.

"Well good thing I have alot right?"

You both laughed, as he took out one of his most favorite hoodies.

"This one...you are not taking home...it's my favorite," he said, pouting at you.

"Why are you giving it to me then?" You asked, crossing your hands across your chest.

"What's mine, is yours right? Plus you'd look so cute in it, I only said you couldn't take it home because then I won't be able to wear it all the time since it will be at your apartment," he said, making you laugh.

"Alright alright, I'll return it to you before I leave...what a baby," you mumble the last line, but Seungcheol was quick to catch on.

"Who you calling a baby?" He asked, cocking his eyebrow.

"You, now get out, I'm gonna change," you said, already pushing him out of the closet door since you knew he would try and stay.

"Oh come on...I can't wait until those annoying men go to sleep! The least you can do is give me a show until then," he said, winking at you.

"Go away cheol."

You shut the door in his face, laughing at how he whined from the other side.

In the past year and a half that you two had been dating, Seungcheol always was really just a big baby. Seemed all tough from the outside especially since he needed to be a good role model to his younger member's, but you all knew he was just a huge softie when it came to people he loved.

But you and his friends knew very well that if was to ever get mad, he would be very mad.

And that's why you loved ganging up with them to piss him off, see what would throw him off exactly.

He was like a bear in your opinion, soft and cuddly, but scary too.

You sighed, pushing your thoughts to the side before changing into the clothes Seungcheol had given you. Once you were done, you opened the door.

"How do I look?" You asked, turning around once.

"Covered. You look covered. Thank god," he replied with no expression. making you huff as you turned away from him, already walking out the door.

"Finally! You took so long!" Soonyoung yelled.

"Sorry guys, it took a while finding something I wanted to wear," you said, sitting back down next to Jun on the floor.

"Well you look really cute, big hoodies look so good on you," Jun said, making me smile.

"Thank you."

You felt Seungcheol sit next to you, before he kissed your cheek lovingly making you blush.

"Now who wants to go first?" Vernon asked.

"I'll go first....Soonyoung...truth or dare?" Seungkwan asked.

"Hmm....truth."

Vernon groaned, "That's so boring can we only do dares?"

"Shut up for once that isn't how you play!" Seungkwan shot, as everyone laughed.

"Guys relax, it's just a game...and yeah kwan is right, and it's his choice on what he wants to do," you said, making Vernon sigh.

"Ah, fineeee."

"Thank you, now...Soonyoung....what's the dirtiest thing you have ever done..don't worry, it's a safe place and Jihoon isn't here so he can't bully you," Seungkwan said, as everyone turned to look at Soonyoung, waiting for him to answer.

"Ahh...well..do you mean sexually..or just..dirty, dirty?" He asked awkwardly.

"Any, your choice," Vernon said, making you nod.

"Uhm...eh...well I once didn't brush my teeth and lasted on chewing gum the entire day cuz I didn't want to be late for practice and keep you guys waiting."

Everyone's eyes were on Soonyoung, making him smile sheepishly.

"It's okay, I'm sure everyone has done that at lease once in their lifetime," you said, smiling at him.

"Have you!?" Seungkwan asked, disgust written all over his face.

"Honestly, I did it once in middle school cuz I didn't want to be late for an exam," you confessed honestly, scratching the back of your neck.

"God your so honest, makes me feel like being honest too...I have done that a couple of times," Vernon said, smirking at you.

"Ewww Hansol get off me!..Y/N I'll let off because I love her but you!?" Seungkwan squeaked, pushing Vernon further away from him.

"Hey don't bully him, we're just being honest here so Soonyoung doesn't feel lonely," You said, frowning at Seungkwan.

"Okay stop, why the fuck are we even having this conversation? Isn't anyone going to even bother asking Soonyoung why the fuck he chose that as something to say for a truth?" Jun suddenly said, looking at us in disbelief.

"Oh yeah true...but I guess it was good enough," Seungkwan said making all of us nod.

"Yeah it was good, if your lucky I won't tell Jihoon," Vernon said, sticking his tongue out.

"No stop, that man never leaves me alone to start with," Soonyoung whined, making all of us laugh.

"Okay shut up and just choose who you're going to ask next," Jun groaned, rolling his eyes.

"Right, um, Vernon!"

"Ahh...dare, cuz I wanna spice things up and I'm not a pussy," Vernon said, winking at Soonyoung.

"Perfect....I dare you to call Wonwoo and tell him you spilt something on his bed sheets," Soonyoung said, wriggling his eyebrows.

"That's not a dare....that's suicide," Vernon said, as he visibly shuddered.

"This is going to be fun," Seungcheol whispered in your ear, knowing very well how angry Wonwoo gets when someone goes in his room.

You nodded your head as everyone grew silent, watching Vernon closely as he took his phone out of his pocket.

"Okay...it's ringing," Vernon said.

"Put it on speaker," Soonyoung whispered, as Vernon nodded.

"Hey, what's up?" You heard Wonwoo's deep voice through the phone, making your heart beat fast, suddenly scared for Vernon's life.

"Hey hyung...where are you?" Vernon asked nervously.

"I'm out with a few friends, I told you guys before I left...is everything okay?"

"Uhm...I...I was in y-your room cuz I wanted to uh...borrow your....pen and I spilt juice all over your bed-"

"YOU WHAT!?" Wonwoo yelled from the other side, making Soonyoung start laughing loudly.

"This is kinda boring...wanna do something else?" Jun suddenly whispered in your ear, making you turn to look at him.

"Oh come on, why isn't it fun?" You asked.

"I'd just much rather be doing something else.." Jun trailed off, making you sigh.

"Alright...what do you want to do?"

"Hmm...let's find something to eat?" Jun suggested, making you chuckle as you nodded.

You got up, about to follow Jun to the kitchen before you felt someone tug at your wrist.

"Where are you going?" Seungcheol asked.

"I'm going to the kitchen with Jun, we're gonna find something to eat," you said, pulling out of his grasp before he could answer.

"I found ice-cream!" Jun exclaimed, waving the tub of strawberry ice-cream around.

"Is that the only flavour?" You asked, looking into the fridge, as your eyes laid on another tub of vanilla ice-cream.

"Yeah sadly we only have those two, let's have both though," Jun replied, clapping his hands.

You laughed as you took the tub of vanilla ice-cream out, before grabbing two spoons.

"Let's just eat from the tub?" You asked, making Jun nod with a smile.

You grabbed the strawberry ice-cream as he grabbed the vanilla one, and you both started to open the lid, quickly taking a spoonful into your mouth.

"Ah yes! This is exactly what I needed!" You mumbled, taking another bite.

"Yeah me too...tell me when you want to swap," Jun said, pointing to his tub of ice-cream.

You nodded your head, turning around to look back at the guys.

"So whats happening?" You whispered, as Soonyoung turned to look at you.

"Well he started cursing obviously...said a few...threats but we quickly told him in was a dare and now their having a conversation about food or something," Soonyoung said, making you nod.

"I'm surprised though, thought he would be running home by now," Jun said, making you laugh.

"That literally wasn't funny, why are you laughing?" Seungkwan shot, walking up to you guys.

"I'm sick of him stealing you away, come on, truth or dare was kinda getting boring already anyways."

Before you could even open your mouth, Seungkwan had taken the ice-cream from your hands and put it back in the freezer.

"Kwan why!" You whined, pulling at his sleeve.

"Let's do something together! How about karaoke?" He suggested, making you huff.

"Yeah fine, okay.....Jun come on!"

You and Jun went back to sit on the couch, as Seungkwan took his phone out to play some songs.

"He only asked for this so he could show off," Jun whispered in your ear, making you chuckle as you rested your head on his shoulder.

Your eyes suddenly flicked to Seungcheol, who was still sitting on the floor, his eyes fixed on you. You could feel his anger, even from feet away, but that only sparked a light bulb in you.

you wanted to piss him off, really bad. and all just for the fun of it.

You had your fair share of moments in making him mad yourself. Especially on days like this, when you decided to play around with his friends to get him jealous purposely, it always ended in rough sex that ended up with you not being able to walk properly the next day...but today, you wanted to see just how many buttons you could push before he finally snapped.

and oh boy, you were about to find out just how angry you could really get him.

You looked away smirking to yourself as you snuggled into Jun, pretending to completely ignore Seungcheol's presence as you watched Seungkwan start singing and dancing.

"Yo Y/N....hyung looks mad," Vernon whispered from beside you, making you look at him.

"I know...but it's funny," you replied, smirking at him.

"Guess your right, I'm gonna take photos of him for safekeeping," Vernon said, making you chuckle.

"Alright but be careful," you reminded him.

A few minutes passed of you and Jun just laughing at Seungkwan and Soonyoung while they sang to a duet, when you decided to get up and go get a drink.

"I'm gonna go get something to drink, you want?" You asked Jun and Vernon, as you got off the couch.

They both shook their heads, making you nod slightly before walking over to the kitchen.

Aa you were pouring yourself a glass of water, you didn't realise someone was right behind you, until you bumped into their chest.

"Can't you see where your walking?" You muttered at Seungcheol, moving away from him to place the glass on the kitchen island.

He hugged you from the back, his fingernails digging into your skin.

"You...have had quite the attitude with me lately, where is this coming from...hm?" He whispered darkly in your ear, as you looked at the guys to make sure they weren't looking.

"Nowhere..and what attitude, just cuz I told you to watch where your walking?" You scoffed, trying to keep your composure when you felt his teeth graze your earlobe.

"Don't act smart with me, you know what I'm talking about," he spat, making you smile.

He bought one of his hands down to your clothed core, while the other stayed firm against your waist.

"Was it nice warming up with Jun sweetheart?" He asked rather softly, but you knew all to well not to answer such a question....but today, you would.

"Of course it was, he was so warm and cuddly I just wanted to sleep in his arms," you sighed, pretending to be day dreaming.

He turned you around suddenly, pushing you against the counter.

"I told you before, do not push me, right? I don't know why you're being so bold today but keep stepping over the line and I'll make sure you really regret it," he growled, towering over you easily.

"Look cheolie...I don't know what your talking about but I'm really just being friendly, your just overreacting," you said, rolling your eyes.

His grip on your waist tightened to the point where you winced.

"Did you just roll your eyes at me?" He asked lowly, making you smirk.

"Yeah, I did, so what?" You asked irritatedly.

"Okay that's it. Get that pretty little ass of yours inside my room, now," he spat, making you scoff in disbelief.

"And what? You really think I'm just going to obey you like some puppet, go away cheolie," you smiled, kissing his cheek before pushing him away.

You smiled to yourself as you saw his shocked expression, and just as you were about to walk away, he grabbed your wrist.

"Then behave...next time, I won't be asking, I'll be dragging you myself," he warned, letting go off your wrist.

You scoffed, taking a sip off your water walking back to sit next to Jun again.

"He's still singing?" You whispered to Jun as you watched Seungkwan in shock.

"Yep...and next up is Soonyoung," Jun replied, sighing in annoyance.

While watching Seungkwan completely loose himself to a bunch of girl group songs, you saw Seungcheol from the corner of your eyes come and sit down next to you.

"Hey baby," he whispered near your ear, like you weren't just talking a few mere minutes ago.

He kissed your cheek before sitting back comfortably against the couch, his hand coming up to rest on your thigh, something he always did as a way to show you he was there- or at times like this, to just remind Jun that your boyfriend was right there.

A smile made its way to your mouth as you realised what he was doing.

You turned to look at him, before moving a little closer to his ear.

"Awh is cheolie scared Jun will take me from you?" You whispered, before looking away and back to Seungkwan, who was still dancing.

"Everyone here knows you belong to me, love, but I think your the one that needs a reminder," he whispered back with his jaw clenched.

You chuckled as you rested your head on Jun's shoulder, scooting more closer to him.

"Your really warm, Jun," you said, loud enough so Seungcheol would hear.

Jun smiled, figuring out exactly what you were trying to do, and he was happy to help...how could he ever say no to a chance of pissing off someone like choi seungcheol?

"Are you cold? It must be his hoodie that isn't keeping you that warm..I have this really warm one that would look so cute on you," Jun said, making you smirk mentally.

"Really? Can I wear-"

You words were stuck in your throat when you felt Seungcheol's grip on your thigh tighten, but you quickly cleared your throat.

"Yeah of course, I'll go get it for you," Jun said, making you push Seungcheol's hand off your thigh before getting up.

"Sit down," Seungcheol suddenly said, just as you were about to follow Jun to his room.

You leaned down, pecking his neck before answering. "Stop being so jealous baby, I just want to wear something warmer."

His eyes narrowed on you, as you heard him grit his teeth. "You want something warm, then let's head to bed."

You chuckled lowly, bringing your hand up to ruffle his hair before pulling at his cheeks.

"I don't want your dick, cheol," you deadpanned, before walking away.

Just as you got to Jun's room, he had already got out the hoodie he was talking about.

"Here, you can change in the bathroom if you want," he said, handing the hood to you.

You nodded your head before walking to his bathroom, and locking the door behind you.

Taking off Seungcheol's hoodie, you frowned a little, knowing he could be hurt that you took off his favorite hoodie that he wanted you to wear, just so you could play around with him.

Shaking your head, you decided to just go with it, knowing he most likely won't mind since he probably knows your just trying to get him worked up.

you should've stopped there.

You fixed your hair after putting on Jun's hoodie, loving the way it suited you, and even though Seungcheol's hoodie was keeping you warm, this one was too.

"Wow you look amazing in it," Jun complimented, as you came out of the bathroom.

"Thank you, I love it!"

He smiled at you before the both of you walked out of the door and back to the living room.

You threw Seungcheol's hoodie to his face, making Jun and Vernon laugh.

"You have guts I admire," Vernon complimented you, as Seungcheol slowly pulled the hoodie away from his face, his angry eyes throwing daggers to your amused ones.

"You fucking did not," he drawled, making you smile at him innocently.

"What? I wanted to wear it," you said, flicking your hair as you went back to sit in between Jun and Seungcheol.

Seungcheol sighed angrily, his fingers curling into fists. He always loved that you wore his clothes, because he could smell himself all over you, but now that you wore Jun's, he wanted nothing more than to rip it off your body.

"What's wrong Seungcheol, you don't look well," you asked innocently, grabbing his arm and snuggling into him purposely, knowing he could smell Jun on you.

"Stop," he warned, making you smile.

"Alright, I'll leave you alone then," you said, pulling away from him and hugging Jun, leaning your head on his chest.

"Hey Jun, do you want to sing together?" You asked, as Jun looked at you.

"Yeah of course, let's join them," he said, grabbing your hand and pulling you up.

You both started joining in on the song Seungkwan and Soonyoung were so immersed in, as you forced Vernon to join aswell.

"Cheolie come join us," you said, turning to look at him.

He didn't respond, just looked at you blankly, but you knew he was burning in anger.

You bit your lip, wondering if you really had just crossed over the line, you knew far too well that when Seungcheol got angry he was brutal and merciless.

Just to be safe, you walked over to him and sat on his lap before pecking his cheek.

"You okay?" you asked carefully, massaging his tensed shoulders.

"Don't suck up to me now, you've pissed me off well enough already...I'm holding you responsible for this, not him," he growled, his eyes never leaving yours.

"It was a joke cheol, lighten up," you mumbled, slightly getting worried for yourself.

"Get off my lap and go enjoy your fun while you can," he whispered darkly, making a shiver run down your spine.

You hesitantly got off, giving him a small smile before turning around and walking back to the guys.

Seungcheol's words echoed in your mind while you sang and danced, and as much as you tried to ignore them, they only made you grow anxious, but also a little excited.

go enjoy your fun while you can

You knew you should've tried harder and maybe even apologised, but the look he gave you when he told you to get off his lap was enough to make you obey without even a second to loose.

While you were busy in your thoughts, you didn't hear Jun call your name, until he carried you up suddenly making you squeal.

"You seemed zoned out so I wanted to wake you up," he said, laughing at your shaken expression.

"God you scared m-"

"Put her down," Seungcheol's deep voice made everyone stop moving, as they turned to look at him.

"Relax we're just having fun," Jun said, holding you tighter as you wrapped your hands around his neck to support yourself.

"Just put her down hyung," Seungkwan whispered, as I looked at Jun.

"It's okay Jun you can put me down," I said, we were so close I could feel his hot breath against my skin.

"Okay this is my queue I'm suddenly tired, good night guys," Vernon said, giving me a smile before running off to his room.

Jun smiled at you, before turning to look at Seungcheol.

"And what if I don't want to?" He asked, raising one of his eyebrows at him.

Seungcheol got up, making you bite your lip as you realised this wasn't going to end well.

He put his hands in his pockets as he stood right in front of you guys. Seungcheol was beyond angry at this point, and mostly just pissed off at this moment with how his younger member was talking back to him, he wasn't going to let that happen.

"I think you've forgotten your place, but I'll ask you once more...let.her.go," Seungcheol drawled, his low dominant tone sending shivers down your spine.

"Jun," you called softly, patting him on the chest.

He sighed, nodding his head before putting you down slowly before Seungcheol grabbed your wrist roughly, pulling you to his side.

"Hey! Be careful!" You mumbled, trying to pull away from his grasp, but he only tightened it.

"That's enough for one night, it's already past 12, everyone go to bed," Seungcheol said sternly, making Seungkwan and Soonyoung nod, before turning the TV off. As much as they wanted to continue singing, they knew better than to annoy their leader when he already seemed so on edge.

"Look I'm sorry, okay? We were just messing around...she's yours and I know that," Jun said, patting Seungcheol's shoulder before winking your way.

"Goodnight guys," he added, before walking away.

You swallowed harshly when you heard Jun's room door open and close. Seungcheol was still not saying anything to you, but you could feel the anger radiating off him, as he was still looking straight ahead.

"Now you...." He trailed off, finally meeting eyes with you.

You bit your bottom lip, wanting nothing more than to dash out of the apartment before he could say anything more.

"Get your ass in my room before I drag you there myself," he spat, his voice laced with authority.

He let go of your wrist, making you rub the sore area as you nodded your head.

You feet walked for themselves as your mind clouded with nothing but regret, why did you even think of this stupid idea again?

You knew Seungcheol was right behind you from his heavy steps and slow breathing, his eyes burning holes into your back.

Once you were in his room, you heard the door shut behind you, before the faint sound of the lock perked your ears.

You didn't dare turn around, as you kept your eyes to the ground, not knowing how to get out of this situation.

should've thought this through huh.

You thought to yourself, before you were forced to shoo away your thoughts when you heard Seungcheol clear his throat.

"Turn around."

You did as he said, hoping he'd forgive you if you at least listened to him now.

"How long did you wanna keep that act up, hm?" He asked, as you looked down at your entwined fingers.

"I-I was j-just-"

"Look at me when I'm talking to you," he drawled, making you look up at him slowly.

"I was just messing with you cheol, I didn't think you would take it that seriously," you bravely said, making Seungcheol nod.

"Hmm..well didn't I warn you before not to fuck around with me like that?" He shot, making you bite your bottom lip, not knowing how to answer him.

"Y-Yes....yes you did...I-I'm sorry," you whispered, trying your hardest not to look away from him.

He sighed irritatedly, eyeing you head to toe.

"Take it off."

"Huh?" You asked dumbly, making Seungcheol swallow harshly, his adam's apple bobbing up and down.

"Take off his hoodie," he spat, making you slowly nod.

You bought your shaky fingers to the hem of the hoodie, playing with it slightly.

"For fucks sake hurry up, or I'm gonna have to rip it off myself."

You quickly pulled it over your head, throwing it to the couch in his room before you covered yourself with your arms, feeling a little conscious since you were only wearing a bra inside.

"Good."

He started slowly walking to you, making you take a step back as you watched him unbutton the first few buttons on his shirt.

"Never, ever let me catch you wearing any of their clothes ever again, understood?" He drawled, a hand coming up to caress your cheek.

"O-Okay," you mumbled, as his hand on your cheek went down to your neck.

"So, why did you decide to piss me off so much today, love?" His voice was somewhat calm, which was starting to freak you out.

"I-I..."

"Loss of words I see? Well let me tell you what I think then.."

He pulled you closer to him, his hand caressing the back of your neck.

"Was it because you suddenly felt the need to get me angry just so you could laugh about it later?...well whose laughing now sweetheart?" He mused, chuckling at your facial expression.

"Or maybe it was because you knew, once you were done and we were alone...I'd fuck all the right senses into you, have you screaming while I showed you no mercy whatsoever.."

You bit back a whine at his words, the dominance in his voice shooting right down to your throbbing pussy.

"You knew god damn well not to piss me off like that, fuck around with my friends like a fucking whore while I was right.there...what did you get out of that anyways?" He spat angrily.

You kept quiet, which only pissed him off further. "Answer me."

"I-I...don't know...I just wanted to..a-annoy you..." You trailed off, your breath getting caught in your throat when he wrapped his fingers around your neck.

"Well darling...you definetly did get something out of it....and it's not going to be fun for you," he growled, his grip on your neck tightening.

"I-I'm sorry.....I-I w-won't d-do it a-again," you stuttered out, holding onto his hand on your throat.

"Oh you won't, and I'll make sure of it," he spat, before letting you go and dropping his arms to the side.

He moved away from you and sat down on the edge of his bed, before calling you over with his finger.

"Come here princess."

You swallowed harshly, before walking over to him slowly. You stood in front of him, waiting for his next order.

"Take off your...my pants," he said, watching you closely.

You slowly bent down, pulling his sweatpants down your body before shaking it off your feet.

"Good....now I want you over my lap."

Your eyes widened, knowing exactly what that meant.

"Cheol, look, I'm sorry and-"

"I said, over. my. lap," he repeated sternly, making you swallow harshly.

You climbed over his lap, your limbs starting to shake when he placed one of his big warm hands over your ass, smoothing over it.

"You've...made it quiet the habit to disobey me...especially in front of my friends...and I am fucking sick of it...but you won't do it again, right baby?" He asked you softly, his hands pulling at your ass, avoiding the area you needed him the most.

"Y-Yes I won't..I won't do it again, I promise," your lips quivered, bracing for the impact.

It was silent for a while, before you felt his palm make contact with your ass harshly, causing you to lurch forward with a cry leaving your lips.

"Yeah that's right, be as loud as you can, rooms soundproof remember?..but I think you would've loved it if it wasn't hey?" He drawled, smacking you once again.

"Sh-shit!" You bit your lip, as you felt the strong burning sensation spread.

"Did you enjoy warming up to another man right in front of me?" Seungcheol growled, before smacking your ass once again, this time to the other cheek.

You groaned in pain, your elbows giving out, making you land face first onto the mattress.

"Answer when you are spoken to slut."

You turned your face to the side, looking up at him. "N-No I d-didn't."

"And will you ever do it again?" He spat, his hand soothing the red skin.

"Depends," you mumbled, smirking devilishly as you looked up at him.

His clenched his jaw, as his hands crawled up your skin and to your hair, pulling on it as you screamed.

"Guess I'll have to keep going until I get a satisfied answer from you then."

Your eyes shut tightly as another hard hit landed on your already aching cheeks.

It only got worse from there, as his hits got harder, and faster, as you cried in pain.

Your lower body suddenly felt numb, as Seungcheol stopped.

"Now try again....will you ever let a man that close to you ever again?"

You shook your head vigorously, "N-No never."

Seungcheol chuckled, his grip tightening on your hair.

"Good." He whispered, dragging his finger down your clothed core, chuckling deeply at how wet you were.

"What a fucking slut...are you seriously wet from this?"

You felt the heat rush to your cheeks as you refused to look at him.

"Or are you wet from flirting with Jun from before," he drawled, pulling your panties down roughly.

You didn't reply, which only made Seungcheol angrier as he spanked you again, making more tears fill your eyes.

"Tell me...while you flirt with other men and get close to them...do you at least remember who you belong to?" He asked, another loud smack landing on the same area as the last two.

You moaned loudly, finally feeling the pain subside a little as you only had the diritest thoughts running in your head now..but of course, your boyfriend had other plans.

He scoffed, "No answer, let's see if you'll talk after this."

Two of his fingers found your dripping entrance, before pushing into you roughly without any warning.

You mewled at the feeling of his thick fingers sliding into your walls, as you gripped the sheets below you.

"I'm not gonna move my fingers until you speak princess."

You groaned loudly, trying to push yourself on his fingers since he wasn't going to do it for you anytime soon, but as soon as you tried, he gripped your hair tighter.

"Don't even think about it. Now answer me."

"God Seungcheol, yes! I-I do remember who I b-belong t-to," you moaned out, when he added a third finger.

"Mmmh....you sure, cuz it didn't look like you thought of me before..." He trailed off, taking his fingers out of you before pulling your panties back on.

"Why-"

Your whine got stuck in your throat when he landed another hard slap on your ass, making you jolt forward in surprise.

"I don't like lies princess," he growled, rubbing your cheeks as you felt your sticky substance spread all over your ass.

"I-I d-did....think o-of you," you whined, wanting nothing more than his fingers stuffed back in your pussy.

"No, you didn't...cuz if you did you wouldn't have done any of that in the first place," he spat, before he smacked you once again.

A moan left your lips, as you bit your lip to stop any other sound from escaping, as Seungcheol tsked.

"Oh? I see my little slut has started enjoying this, thats not good."

In seconds he had pulled you up by your hair, making you stand on your wobbling legs as he let go off you.

"On your knees, hands behind your back."

You did as you were told as you looked up, watching Seungcheol pull down his sweatpants along with his boxers.

One of his hands found purchase in your hair as he pulled you closer. "You've found ways to piss me off the entire day, your smart remarks, talking back to me...so lets finally put that dirty mouth of yours to good use hm?"

You swallowed harshly, nodding your head as your eyes fell on his red tip, that already had a little bit of pre-cum dripping down.

"Remember, no touching, and if I see your legs give out even a little....I won't be nice," He growled, gripping your hair tighter as his other hand guided his cock to your closed lips.

He opened his mouth, signalling you to do the same thing.

You gulped, knowing he wasn't going to go soft on you by the angry look in his eyes that still hadn't faded. You opened your mouth slowly as Seungcheol almost instantly pushed himself into you.

You gagged around him when you felt him hit the back of your throat, your mouth stretching beyond comfort as he used your mouth without any mercy.

"Look up at me, I wanna see my cock in your mouth properly," he rasped out, as you moaned around his length.

You looked up, watching how his eyes stared at you so intensely that you almost felt enchanted by them, the beads of sweat rolling down his face his expression filled with pure pleasure. But you were bought back to reality when you felt Seungcheol push more of his length down your throat as you choked around him, tears starting to fill your eyes.

"L-Look at you now princess, not so strong anymore hm? God this is the only good thing your mouth can do," he spat, before a long moan left his lips when you hallowed your cheeks, sucking on him.

You wanted to touch him, so badly, especially since you knew your legs couldn't support you much longer, but it would only anger him more so you tried your best to stand up straight as he fucked into your mouth much faster.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck....you take me in so well babygirl..just like that, I'm close," he groaned, gripping your hair tighter as you felt his cock twitch in your mouth.

He went faster as you whimpered slightly, your mouth starting to burn at his rough movements. He pushed you forward right down to his pelvic bone, making you let out the most sinful sounds.

After what felt like hours of his torture on you, he finally released in your mouth, some of it sliding straight down your throat before he pulled your head back, more of his cum hitting your tongue.

He pulled out of you, giving you the look that told you to swallow everything.

Your chest heaved up and down as you swallowed, the strong salty substance making your body tingle.

"Open your mouth, I wanna see it all gone," he asked, his own breathing erratic as he looked down at you.

You opened you mouth, sticking your tongue out, earning a moan of appreciation from your boyfriend.

"Good."

You looked up at him with half lidded eyes, silently telling him to let you get up as your knees started burning, along with your aching ass that still tingled in pain.

"You're so messy," he cooed, wiping the saliva mixed with his cum that was all over your mouth and chin with his hand.

He pulled you up by your hair, making you yelp in surprise."You were so good for me...but don't think I didn't notice your legs waver," he whispered darkly, making your eyes widen.

"Ch-Cheol I-I-"

"On the bed, legs spread out," he commanded, cutting you off.

"B-But Seungcheol I...my knees s-started getting uncomf-"

"Are you really going to make me repeat that again?" He growled, eyeing you angrily.

You swallowed harshly, shaking your head before moving away from him, your shaky hands and legs moving down to lay on the bed, as you hesitantly spread your legs a little, barely.

Seungcheol watched you with predatorial eyes, scoffing at you.

"I said, spread your legs," he spoke through gritted teeth, sitting down on the edge of the bed as he watched you while he rolled the sleeves of his button up.

You hesitantly spread your legs even further your drenched clothed core on full display to Seungcheol's hungry eyes.

"I want it all coming off your body," he said, pointing to your bra and panties.

You were quick to comply, starting with unclasping your bra before throwing it to the side, before you pulled down your panties, flicking it to the side.

"I haven't even touched you properly, yet your soaked," He said, tilting his head to the side a little, his eyes trained on your dripping entrance, making you shut your thighs tightly together out of reflex.

"Ah, ah, ah....spread them out," he warned, making you bite your bottom lip, as you slowly spread your legs once again.

"Now, touch yourself."

You were shocked at his words, Seungcheol never let you touch yourself...so you knew something was up.

You looked at him with slightly widened eyes.

"A-Are you serious?"

"Was I speaking in french?" He shot boredly, making you gulp as you shook your head.

You bought your fingers down to your seeping entrance, glancing at Seungcheol once before dipping one of your fingers in.

You moaned softly, adding a second finger when you realised it wasn't enough, as you started a slow pace.

"Go faster," Seungcheol's deep voice reminded you he was still in the room, as you looked over at him with hazy eyes.

You went faster, throwing your head back as you moaned over and over again, forgetting everything around you as you just focused on making yourself cum.

You felt your walls clench around your fingers, as you let out a long moan, the coil in your stomache threatening to snap.

And just as you were about to come undone, your fingers were yanked out of you.

"Seungcheol!" You almost screamed, shaking your legs around as he chuckled.

"Go again."

You hurriedly stuffed your fingers back in once he let go off your wrist, slowly building up the pleasure once again. You bought your free hand down to your clit, rubbing the bundle of nerves to bring you closer to the edge, the need to cum growing stronger by the second.

You worked your fingers harder, moaning and shaking as you came all around your fingers. Your breathing was uneven as you closed your eyes, completely sated.

Your happy mood was quickly ripped away when Seungcheol grabbed your thighs.

"Did you enjoy that sweetheart?" He asked sweetly, but you knew better.

He ran his thumb down your gushing entrance, making you shiver.

"Yes..."

"Yes what?" He growled, pushing in four of his fingers into you at once as you groaned.

"Yes....d-daddy," you moaned out breathlessly.

"Hmm...so much cum," he whispered, nuzzling his nose into your folds.

He lapped up the cum that had seeped out of your hole while he started moving his fingers in you, making you moan softly, your fingers tangling in his hair.

He looked up at you, his lips glistening in your essence as he glared at you.

"No touching," he mumbled, making you nod before letting go off him to grip the sheets underneath you.

Just as you felt your release was close, Seungcheol pulled his fingers out of you, before crawling over your body as he licked his fingers clean.

You whined as you clenched around nothing, feeling empty without his fingers.

"Don't worry baby, you'll have something in your pussy in no time," one of his hands came up to circle around your throat, while the other stayed firm against your hip.

"Now I'm going to tell you exactly what I'm going to do to you, and your going to listen alright?"

You nodded your head, as Seungcheol's grip on your throat tightened.

"Words, love," he warned.

"Y-Yes....daddy," you half moaned when you felt his lips graze your hardened nipple.

"I'm going to fuck you hard, tire you out so much to the point where you'll be begging me to stop...'cause that's what dirty whores like you want right? Well I'll gladly give it to you," he growled, flipping you over suddenly so you were laying on your back, your ass in the air.

"D-Don't be r-rough," you stuttered out, a shiver running down your spine when you felt the tip of his cock slowly circle your tight rim.

"You really thought I was going to go soft on you after that little stunt?" He asked, groping your ass as he spat in his other hand, rubbing it all over his cock as extra lubricant. He pushed his tip into you without warning, making you cry out for more.

"I see my little sluts getting impatient, hm?" He mused from behind you, before he landed a hit on your right cheek, making you hang your head down, moaning loudly.

"Seungcheol please," You groaned, as you tried to push yourself back on his cock, but he was quick to grip your hips, stopping your movements.

"Your not going to get it that easy...beg for it, slut," he spat, another smack landing on your ass.

"Daddy please.....I want you so bad," you whined, swaying your hips a little.

"Why should I give you what you want when all you've been doing tonight is disobeying me?"

"I-I'll be good, I p-promise...ch-cheol, please," you moaned out, as you felt your arousal drip down your thighs and onto the sheets

"You really are such a needy whore, you know that? You flirt with other guys, pretend like I can't see what your doing....and now your shamelessly begging me to fuck you?"

"N-No...all I want is y-you," you stuttered out, all shame leaving your mind, as the only thing that was running through your mind was Seungcheol fucking you.

He growled lowly before pushing into you completely, filling your ass to the brim.

"Fuck....d-daddy you feel so good," you moaned out, as your hands that were keeping you up finally gave out, as your face landed on the pillow.

"Such a whore...get up and look at me."

You did as he said, getting back up on your shaking arms before turning back to look at him. His jaw was clenched down, and the look he had in his eyes was enough to show you how much of a deep hole you were in.

"Tell me...could Jun or any other guy fuck you like this?" He growled, as he pulled out of you before slamming back into you with force.

You broke eye contact with him, as you hit the pillow below you once again from the impact.

"Answer me, or I'll stop," he warned, making you whine.

"N-No, cheol....n-no o-one c-could," you somehow made out, even with you mind all over the place, the only thng you could focus on being Seungcheol.

"Yeah thats right, no one could use you like I fucking do," he spat, smacking your ass harshly, making you choke on your moans.

His movements went rougher, as you felt the tears of pleasure blur your sight. "Ch-cheol, go s-slower."

You felt his hand wrap around your throat, before he pulled you up roughly, your back hitting his chest as your eyes rolled to the back of your head at the angle his cock was hitting you.

"Your in no position to be telling me what to do, so I suggest you just take what I give you, I'm pissed off as it is," he growled in your ear, before his lips found your neck, biting down on your sensitive skin.

A scream left your throat as you felt the coil in your stomach tighten, feeling your release was close.

"Cum only when I tell you to," he whispered in your ear, before placing kisses on your cheek, which shocked you at his sudden softness.

"All mine, your entire body belongs to me...right babygirl?" He asked sweetly, snapping his hips harshly as you heard him grunt into your ear.

"Y-Yes...sh-shit cheol you feel so g-good," you cried out, the tears rolling down your face as you shook uncontrollably.

"I can feel you clenching, don't you dare cum," he warned, as his grip tightened on your throat, making you a little dizzy.

Tons of moans slipped from your lips, as you threw your head back onto Seungcheol's chest, screaming out his name.

Seungcheol's free hand went down your stomach, before his fingers slipped through your wet folds.

You let out a guttural moan, shaking your head as Seungcheol pressed hard circles into your clit.

"I-I need....to..c-cum plea-"

"Not yet, this is your punishment for not behaving properly...so if you want to make it worse for you, by all means...cum all you want like the slut you are," he seethed, before his lips went back to sucking dark purple and red marks into your neck.

"Cheol please!" You screamed, and without any other warning you felt yourself fall over the edge, the pleasure washing over you in waves as you moaned loudly, your body shaking.

Seungcheol growled angrily, pulling his fingers away from your clit before pushing you down on the bed harshly.

"Now your really pissing me off," he spat, pulling out of you as you sighed in content, letting your eyes close as you relaxed on the mattress.

He flipped you around, his fingers running down your entrance.

"Didn't I tell you not to cum yet?" He asked, eyes flaring at you.

You looked at him lazily. "I c-couldn't take it...I'm s-sorry."

"A sorry isn't going to fix this baby," he smiled at you, grabbing your thighs and pulling you towards him.

"Since my little whore can't seem to do as she's told, I'm willing to let you go on this one..."

"W-What?" You stuttered out.

"Since you want to cum so badly, let's see how much you can until you can't take it anymore," he smiled devilishly, as you felt the tip of his cock rub your folds.

A quiet moan left your lips, as you snaked your arms around Seungcheol's neck.

"Your not allowed to touch me, hands above your head," he spat, making you whine.

"Why baby...you love it when I touch you don't you?" You asked with a pout, your fingers raking down his arms.

"You don't deserve to touch me," he shot, grabbing your wrists and placing them above your head.

"Keep them there."

You nodded your head slowly, licking your lips as Seungcheol's eyes travelled to yours, before trailing down to your lips.

He wanted to kiss you, so badly, but he wasn't going to give in to you. Just the thought of Jun touching you was enough to have his blood boiling and all self control leaving him.

"Gonna fuck you so good, you'll think of this everytime you do so much as think of touching another man," he growled in your ear, before he slammed up into you roughly.

You groaned from the stretch, your walls sucking in his cock slowly as he moaned from above you.

"Shit fuck your still so tight," he hoarsed out, his lips finding your right nipple, before he had it between his teeth.

You felt him fill you to the brim, balls deep as you moaned into his ear from the feeling of being so full.

"Your hands are staying there, remember," he warned, making you nod as he completely pulled out, before pushing back into you.

Your fingers curled into fists as you moaned over and over again, Seungcheol's pace going faster by the seconds passing.

His lips bit into the sensitive flesh just under your collarbones, making you scream.

"Cheol what the fuck that hurt you idiot!" You angrily said, pushing his face away. Seungcheol was quick at becoming very aggressive when you guys normally had sex, especially if he was stressed or in a bad mood...or very pissed off at something you did like right now.

One of his hands left your hip to tangle in your hair, as he pulled on it, ignoring your angry eyes as he bit his lip, snapping his hips up into you.

You shook furiously, your orgasm quickly approaching as you threw your head back, tons of moans escaping your mouth.

"You enjoy being fucked like this doll? You love it when I use you like this don't you?" He asked, his mouth parting as you heard the ragged breaths that left his lips as he didn't slow his pace down. You nodded furiously, moaning out his name as you felt your release was close.

"Words."

"Y-Yes...yes I-I do, I l-love it!" You whimpered, your mind going blank as you could only focus on Seungcheol abusing your walls, and the sinful sounds leaving his mouth.

"Sh-shit cheol...y-you need to s-slow d-down," you somehow made out, as you felt him twitch inside you.

Seungcheol moaned into your ear, his hand in your hair loosening as he gripped your hips instead, his fingernails digging into your skin.

He ignored your words, his mouth sucking colorful marks into your neck as you cried out his name.

"Gonna fill you full of my cum, until it has no choice but to drip out of you...and then I'm  gonna fuck it back into you," he whispered darkly, another heavenly groan leaving his lips.

"That should teach a whore like you to remember who she belongs to," he added, looking at you right in the eye.

His eyes were a few shades darker than usual, the lust and hunger evident in them as he bit his lips.

"Open your mouth."

You did as you were told, staying quiet as he pushed in three of his fingers into your mouth. You sucked on them happily, rolling your tongue around each digit before he was pulling them out.

"God your so hot," he muttered, bringing his coated fingers to your clit, before he started rubbing you roughly.

A garbled moan left your mouth as you came all over his cock, shaking in pure ecstasy while he rode out your orgasm.

He came soon after with a few more thrusts, his hot liquid filling you up as you shuddered from the warmth, closing your tired eyes.

You thought he was done when he started shifting and pulled out of you, but you were too tired to open your heavy eyelids to see. He placed one of your thighs over his shoulder, making your eyes shoot up.

"W-Wait what are you doing?"

"Who ever said I was done with you princess?" He asked, kissing your thigh before he was pushing into you once again.

"N-not more ch-cheol...I-I can't," you breathlessly moaned, the new angle making your insides tingle as you eyes rolled to the back of your head.

He snapped his hips, pounding into you deeply as he let out grunts and moans every now and then.

"Of course you can take more, that's what my slut is used for right? Taking what daddy gives her like a good girl."

"Please Seungcheol...n-no," your head started spinning as you lost all clear mind on what was happening, the pleasure being too much to handle.

"You love cumming like a little desperate slut without my permission, right? So come on, keep cumming, I'm not going to stop anytime soon."

Your eyes widened, was he serious?

The anger in his eyes was enough to give you the answer, he was genuinely still mad and you knew you had to make up for it.

"Ch-cheol...I'm s-sorry...s-so sorry I won't d-do that e-ever a-..again," you breathed out, squeezing your eyes shut as you felt the pleasure shake through your body as you came once again.

"Told you I'd make you beg.." He trailed off with a chuckle, as his fingers thread through you hair.

"Tell me...who do you belong to slut?"

"Y-You....y-you Seungcheol!" You screamed, tears spilling from your eyes.

"That's right...your all for me, and me alone...am I understood?" He growled, making you nod your head feverishly.

"Yes...y-yes, yes," you mumbled, your thighs shaking violently as Seungcheol fucked you through your orgasm, the oversensitivity causing you to cry out for him to stop.

"I-It h-hurts stop!" You sobbed out, looking up at him through bleary eyes. His eyes bore back into yours with nothing but lust, as he continued his pace without any mercy on you.

The pleasure mixed with slight pain at his rough movements, leaving you breathless, unable to move, and shocked that he still had so much stamina to keep going.

you really had hit the wrong nerve tonight, one you don't think you'll ever risk touching ever again.

He placed your thigh back on the mattress, before his fingers went down to your aching pussy, before he started rubbing tight circles into your clit, abusing the already swollen nub. A sudden wave of sensitivity hit you, as you came once again, throwing your head back as you whimpered.

His lips leaned down to lick and suck at your neck, making sure to paint as many marks as he could so you wouldn't be able to cover it the next morning.

"Think of this, think of this very moment every time you decide to get under my skin," he growled in your ear, before he moaned lowly, ropes of his cum filling you up once again.

He pulled out completely, a sigh leaving your lips as you looked down at him, as he watched his cum mixed with your own leak out of your hole, as you clenched around nothing.

"You look so pretty stuffed with my cum princess...makes me feel like fucking you like this all night," he moaned, swiping his thumb up and down your entrance, loving the way you squirmed under his touch and how more of his cum only oozed out, dripping onto the sheets.

He bought his fingers to your mouth, forcing them in as you sucked them clean of his cum.

"Want more?" He asked, bringing his fingers back down to your entrance, pushing them into you and collecting more of his liquid.

You nodded your head, knowing you would only anger him if you didn't accept it.

"Now that's my good girl...you always need me fucking the right senses into you, don't you? Because now your being so perfect...just how I like it," he nuzzled his nose into your neck, as you sucked on his fingers.

He entered you again, making you look at him in shock as he took his fingers out of your mouth.

"N-No....not again," your voice broke as Seungcheol kissed your cheek lovingly.

"Just one more princess...one more and thats it I promise."

He connected his lips to yours as he started moving his hips, his fingers going down to play with your clit. He pinched the nub between his fingers, as you felt yourself get lost in pleasure once again.

The next morning you woke up early, even though you had slept pretty late- well more like passed out.

Even in your shaken and aching state last night, you remembered Seungcheol carrying you into his bathroom and running you a warm bath as he joined you. He had whispered sweet nothings into your ear, apologising over and over again if he had been too rough on you as he cleaned you up.

After a long bath, he tucked you into bed before snuggling with you.

You smiled at the memory, as you finished tying your hair up. You walked out of the bathroom, your eyes falling on a still sleeping cheol, his fluffy hair all over his face and his mouth slightly agape, soft breaths falling from his full lips.

Giggling quietly, you grabbed your phone from the bedside table before walking out of his room slowly.

The morning light shone through the windows into the dorm room, as you limped into the kitchen, you needed something hot, preferably tea to ease your aching muscles.

"Good morning," you heard Jun's voice, breaking the silence around the dorm.

"Morning," you said back, turning to look at him as you placed your tea bag in the cup of hot water.

"Your up early," he mumbled, yawning loudly as he stretched, making you giggle.

"Yeah...I got hungry...you want some tea?" You asked, pointing to your cup, making him shake his head.

"Nah it's okay, I just want some milk," he replied, walking to the fridge.

"Morning baby," you heard from behind you, making you jump a little.

You turned around, smiling once your eyes laid on Seungcheol's warm ones. Although you were a bit anxious to be near him especially when Jun was there, you still hugged him, before pecking his lips.

"Morning," you whispered, letting go of him as you turned back around to finish your tea.

"Good Morning Jun," Seungcheol said before wrapping his arms around your waist, hugging you from behind.

You winced as his arms pressed into your aching skin, but you tried to ignore it.

"Morning hyung....slept well?" He asked, winking at Seungcheol before pouring himself a glass of milk.

"Very well, how about you?" He replied, kissing your neck shamelessly in front of him, making you squirm in his touch, your cheeks heating up.

"Yeah pretty good..." He trailed off, throwing a sly smirk at the both of you before putting his empty glass in the sink.

"Well I'm off to get some groceries, before the others come home to kill me...it's my turn for this week," Jun said, making you laugh.

"Wanna come?" He asked you, tilting his head a little.

You were about to reply yes but Seungcheol bet you to it.

"I'm taking her out somewhere so sorry, she can't come," he said, making Jun shrug.

"Okay, have fun guys..and Y/N...maybe wear something else," he added, before walking towards the door.

You looked down at Seungcheol's hoodie that you were wearing, your eyes growing bigger when you realised it failed to cover all the marks on your neck.

Seungcheol chuckled, nuzzling his face into your neck making you laugh as it tickled you softly.

"Hey cheol...were you serious about going out?" You asked, as you felt him place kisses all over your neck.

"Yeah I was...I have a place in mind, your going to love it," he said, before kissing your cheek.

"Alright, but first can we go to my apartment so I can get some decent clothes?" You asked, making Seungcheol chuckle, his dimples on full display.

"Yeah your right let's go."

[shuahoonie]

you. [tom holland] - four.

PAIRING: tom holland x female!celebrity!reader

SUMMARY: ah, to be young and in love. it sounds great if only you and tom were actually dating out of pure love and not for the sheer reputation of your careers. it also should be great if you two actually got along, but life isn’t that easy.

WARNINGS: mostly swearing! more fluff than usual yall lmao. it’s haters to lovers / fake dating au so take that information as you wish!

WORD COUNT: 1660

SONG INSPO: circles - post malone  

A/N: hiya babes! well, i’m back in university and this semester is a bit more heavy-loaded than my previous one. only the first week of the winter semester, i’m already unbearably occupied. but i’ll manage! i’ll try to update every saturdays since i need an escape from academic works lmao. anyways, happy reading and enjoy part four! x

gif credits: @spiked-tea​ 

vanessa’s masterlist | preview | one | two | three | five | six | seven | eight | eight.5 [interview excerpt] 

You weren’t expecting Tom to wrap his hand around yours nor did you expect him to help you ease your nerves down, so you ended up staring at him. You were trying to figure out what kind of stunt is he trying to pull now.

What are you trying to do, Holland? You thought. 

He turned his attention to you, his brows knitted slightly. “Why are you staring, princess?” He chuckled softly, amused at the confusion painted on your face.

“’m not staring,” You mumbled as you turned your attention back to walking and slowly slipped your hand away from Tom’s. “I can handle it from here, thanks.” 

You said it in such whisper that you could’ve sworn Tom probably won’t hear it. But he did and he just shrugged in response. 

You both reached the restaurant without saying another word. It wasn’t much of a restaurant-rather a diner. It looked very hip and retro. It also featured a couple of colourful fluorescent lights, and you knew it was going to be one of those stops for Instagram photos. Maybe lunch won’t be that bad. 

It was horrible. You two having lunch was horrible. 

“Honey, you’re exaggerating,” Zoë said as she answered her emails. You didn’t even notice you said it out loud but even if you didn’t, the look on your face probably said it all.

“I am not exaggerating, Zo! I’m telling you, people were staring so much. People also asked for photos, which I didn’t mind because some of them were totally nice about it, but god! Some of them gave me dirty looks. Like hello?” You ranted off.

Well, people giving you dirty looks were the least of your problems. 

You and Tom were seated in a corner booth as you both ate your lunch quietly. Well, it was quiet until a girl around her teens approached your table. 

“Oh, uh, hi Tom, I’m so sorry to bother you but can I take a photo?” The girl asked with a hopeful smile on her face. 

As you were sitting across him, Tom glanced at you as if asking for approval. It caught you off-guard. ‘Why is he asking for my approval?’ You wondered. 

 But you two were a fake couple now, and you guessed this is how things are going to be from now on. You had to act like a normal couple around everybody else. 

This only made you second-guess your decision even more.

You glanced at the girl and gave her a small smile. Keeping the smile, you then turned your attention back to Tom and just nodded at him. 

Tom chuckled as he grabbed the girl’s phone. “Sorry, darling, just had to check in with my girlfriend. I promised that this day was the day that I give her all of my time.” 

Your eyes widened as you heard the words that slipped off from Tom’s lips. “Oh god, we’re that couple?!” You wanted to scream at him. But of course, you couldn’t. 

“Tom,” You mumbled shyly, also feeling the warmth spreading across your cheeks. 

“What?” He laughed. ”I was just stating facts, princess. I did promise you that I’ll make it up to you after what happened. Right?” He then proceeded to take a photo with the girl. She mumbled her thanks and giving you a complete once-over before she left. You swore you saw her roll her eyes after. 

Once you knew she was out of distance, you called Tom’s name in a whisper. “Tom, what the hell was that?!” You hissed in a low voice. 

However, Tom couldn’t grasp what you were saying. “Sorry, what was that, princess?” 

“I said, why did you have to say that?” You said in a low voice. 

“’m sorry, still can’t hear you, princess,” Tom answered. “Just seat next to me so you don’t have to say it loud.” 

You rolled your eyes and pulled out your phone. You were about to send a text to him but you realized you don’t have his number. So, you opted out to use the notes app on your phone instead. 

‘I don’t have to seat next to you. We can just use this instead.’ You typed and handed Tom your phone. 

His eyes scanned the whole thing and began typing his response. ‘Just sit next to me. This is ridiculous.’ 

‘No.’ 

‘Y/N, this is excruciating. Just sit next to me so we don’t have to do any of this. Besides, people are staring and we look ridiculous.’ Tom handed you your phone. 

As soon as you read his reply, you briefly wandered your eyes around the place and unfortunately, he was right. People were staring at you two. 

You let out a small sigh, before sliding off your seat. As you stood up and was about to sit next to Tom, he gave you a huge smile. 

You were about to roll your eyes when Tom signalled towards the window panel against your table. You looked through the huge glass panel and saw a couple of paparazzi attempting to hide while taking photos of you two. 

You forced a smile and went towards Tom’s side of the booth. You sat at the edge of the seat, leaving space between you two.

“Why are you sitting so far away?” He asked, amused. “Come closer.” 

“I don’t think that’s necessary.” You said, scooting away more. You had half of your butt sitting and you looked absurd, to say the least. 

“Y/N, you look ridiculous. C’mere, princess.” Tom chuckled, sliding his arm around your waist and pulled you close to him. 

“Holland, what the hell are you doing?” You hissed under your breath. 

“You keep asking that, Y/N, but you already know the answer.” He answered lowly. Tom had his left arm around your shoulder, tracing slow patterns on your arm. 

Not satisfied with his answer and wanting a more constructed one, you just looked at him- which was a horrible idea. You had a close-up look at his face. You noticed freckles speckled across his face. His eyes-god his eyes. You liked how they turn golden when the sun shines on them. 

With every second that you studied his face, along with his gestures, the more you realized how difficult the whole situation is going to be. You could never fall for this man- no matter how difficult it’s going to be. 

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Tom asked as he popped a fry-a chip, he argued while ordering- into his mouth.

You were not going to actually say why you were staring at him, you had more dignity than that. “Gotta make the people believe I’m so in love with you that I can’t help but look at you.” 

“Wow,” Tom let out a low whistle “You’re getting good at this.” He was still tracing patterns on your arm and you couldn’t help but feel comfortable being this close to him. 

“You can rest your head on my shoulder if you want. ‘Ya know, if it makes you more comfortable,” Tom suggested.

“If I say I’m okay, will you still bug me about it?” You asked. 

“Yup,” He answered honestly, making you roll your eyes. 

So, you gave in. You rested your head over his shoulder and closed your eyes for a moment. 

“The old couple at the next table is staring at us adoringly,” Tom whispered.  You opened your eyes and sure enough, there was an old couple looking at them in awe. Feeling shy all of a sudden, you just gave them a small smile before burying your face into Tom’s. 

You two were acting like a real couple and it’s terrifying how you just feel comfortable around him.

“I can’t believe we’re doing a good job as a couple right now, why don’t we take this up at my place?” You spoke too soon. After hearing Tom’s comment, you took his arm off around you and slapped his arm. 

“Ow!” Tom rubbed his arm, laughing, “I was kidding, princess, come back here. Please.”

“You’re disgusting, Holland,” You said rolling your eyes. 

“I’m sorry, princess,” He pouted while pulling you closer again, setting your head back on top of his shoulder and placing his arm around you. “You know I’m not a ‘sex on the first date’ kind of guy.” 

“You are not building a strong case, Tom.” 

“I’m kidding, princess.” He mumbles into the top of your head. 

“How’d we get here, Holland?” You asked, beginning to wonder what led you guys here. 

“Well, for starters, I couldn’t hear you so I asked you to sit next to me.” He answered, laughing. 

“Yeah, because you disregarded my phone,” You mumbled.

“Hey, I thought you hated the use of phones while you’re out with people.” Tom pointed out. 

You furrowed your brows, “How did you know that?” You asked. 

“Saw your interview.” He answered casually.

“What, you’re stalking me now?” 

“I needed to know who my girlfriend is. For all I know, you might be a serial killer.” Tom explained as he started tracing circles on your arm again. 

“How charming,” You snorted. 

And then things fell quiet again. People came and went, however, they still stared at you two. 

“Are we going to be one of those couples?” You asked Tom. 

He furrowed his brows. “What couples?” 

“The one where they have to say sickly sweet stuff to each other in public and have to execute unnecessary PDA around other people.” You explained almost in full detail. 

“Why are you asking?” Tom turned his attention to you now. 

“Just don’t want to be one of those couples,” You mumbled. 

“Then we’re going to be exactly like one of them,” Tom commented cheekily. 

“You’re despicable.” You rolled your eyes. 

Lunch was horrible. It was horrible because you feel like this whole orchestra is going to end badly and you- you’re the one who’s going to take most of it. 

TAGLIST: @thomasthetankson @autty0314 @marvelous-tswiftfan @averyfosterthoughts @theolwebshooter @jackiehollanderr @sltwins @herondalescecilys @notjustpenandpaper @ihopethatwemeetinanotherlife  @sectusempried​ @gothicwidowsworld​ @heartofholland​ @stxfxniexreads  @peruvian-bae​ @hollands-osterfield​ @thenoddingbunny-blog​ 

[telling-our-stories]

Coming out stories

A heads-up. These are the original stories, however, they are anonymous. This wasn't intentional, I just screwed up and didn't tag. These stories, aren't mine, so if I've posted yours and you want it taken down. Please, just ask me.

Alright.

I am tired of people who are against the LGBTQ+ community. Its alright to have an opinion. It is not alright to put people down for being themselves. The first pride was a riot, a fight for what they believe in. I'm trying to do the same. I'm trying to gather the stories of the fallen, the ones who are still standing, the people who are willing to fight for everything they are. And I am fully willing to take a stand and fight to prove we exist. To prove that we're here, and we aren't backing down.

Hello, my name is Dustyn. I'm here today to collect stories from the LGBTQ+ community. There's a lot of people who are against us, which is exactly why we need to stand our ground. I'm not asking for a fight, I'm asking for your stories. My story is not yet finished, though I'm a bisexual trans male. Our stories are important, because they show who we are and how far we've come. I've struggled a lot in my life, but I've made it. So have others. Here are some of those stories. We'll start with mine. I've gone through many identities, mostly trying to figure myself out. I'm still doing that. My family doesn't accept me for me, but I have many friends who do. There are so many accepting people in life, and I appreciate all of you who are proud to be who you are. Whether closeted or not, you are all valid and amazing.

"Hello my name is Melissa and i am bisexual. My family didn't really have a harsh reaction to it other than the fact that they didn't understand it at first. That was most of my trouble was people saying that bisexual wasnt valid. Im sorry mine is so short but i think the moral is that you are valid. No matter what you identify as on any spectrum in the LGBTQ+ community. Also even if your outside of the LGBTQ+ community and your just an ally. We love you and you are all valid.”

"Salutations everyone. My name is Talan. I am non binary, panromantic and i am currently between asexual and demisexual. I was raised in a very christian household where my mother and father had very strict beliefs. They believed that being anything but straight and to me being anything other than my assigned gender was a sin, and many people still say that to me. When I came out to my dad he flipped, he took me out of school for a year and put me in online school. During this time in my life I had reached a dark time where i thought that it was never going to get better but trust me it does. I am still living with my dad who does not accept me and at this point we don't talk that much, but it does get better. We have gotten to the point where we can have a civil conversation with each other and im back in school. I have an amazing girlfriend and multiple qpps who i love very much. Everybody at school is very loving and supporting. Remember that family is not chosen for you, you make your own family. If you ever feel down than just know that there are so many amazing and kind people in the world who love you for who you are, no matter what that may be. You are loved."

“I'm glad you reached out to me, anything to help people understand more about the LGBTQ+ community. I am 19 now and I came out to my family at the age of 14. My parents were the typical ones who said it was just a phase and it would not last but here I am five years later and I made it through. There was a point where I had no one to turn to but then i met my amazing boyfriend. He helped me through the good and the bad and showed me that there were things to stay for. I am now in college and pursuing a career in photography at the University of Arizona. I hope that could help a bit!”

"Okay. Well. My coming out experience was definitely not expected in the slightest. I was in the 5th grade. Realizing that I liked both boys and girls was quite the revelation. I had a lesbian friend who was the first ever gay person I met or knew. I remember being backstage of a show I was in and just crying through the words, "I know I'm supposed to love guys, but I love girls too". After that. I didn't tell anyone else, until 6th grade. I was a track meet and a group of people I sat with was talking to my lesbian friend about kissing. I forget the exact conversation, but I spoke up and said I would kiss her. A Christian girl in my class was nearby and heard. She was disgusted. Therfore by the end of the week, I was completely outed to my entire school. It was ugly, but it got better over time I guess. I'm a junior in high school now. I have yet to come out to my parents, but at least I know that I am finally comfortable in my my sexual orientation and gender identify (demigirl, which I didn't figure out until a few short months ago)."

"Hey, I haven't actually come out to everyone yet but I have told a few people and all of their reactions were positive "oh you're bi? cool" and that was it. No "so do you like me?" or anything which was super great. So I was "straight" and when I heard about the LGBT community I was "straight" for about another five days. I did some thinking and realised I'd actually liked girls before, and shortly after came out as bi to a few of my close friends at the time. They were all supportive, bar one who said "you're just looking for attention lmao".Coincidentally, she had also come out as pan and had received the usual "you're attracted to pans?". I go to a Christian school, so it would be pretty disastrous if the news leaked out, but naturally it did. Not everyone knows, maybe about 10% of my grade. I suspect some teachers found out about how some people were LGBT (not many though, there's about 5 of us), because our dean of year gave the "you're too young to know that" talk. Mostly at school we get sheltered from all LGBT news and details at all, and my parents hadn't told me much about it either, even though they are supportive and would be okay if I came out as bi."

"I'm bisexual. I first came out to my elementary friends over the phone 3 years after we went to different middle schools. They were mostly all so accepting and I was so overwhelmed I hung up on them. I spent a few minutes laying on the ground clutching that phone to my chest, I'd never felt so loved. I cried and cried and cried because these people atleast the ones who accepted me see me different now but are okay with it. Two years later, now, I still haven't come out to my parents. I still need a few years but I'm a little bit more open at school now most of my friends accept me. Others were cut off, I can't do that with my family so they still don't know. Not as if they would take me seriously either way. I want to get past college get a place a stable life then maybe I'll be ready, just maybe. Thank you for listening to my story."

"I was surrounded by my Uncle and his husband for years. I always knew that gay people existed. When I was younger I never thought anything different of myself; I thought I was one of the boys.

 It never really clicked that I was the only one who saw it that way.

When I was 7, my mother and sister suggested I take dance I shot them down saying "that's for girls."

They didn't get it.

I wasn't entirely sure what came over me in that moment either but I know it felt right.

As myself and the people I knew grew up I realised I wasn't happy with the way I looked. I tossed it up as your typical dislike.

~every girl went through that at my age didn't they~

All the girls I knew were so happy that they were becoming women and I just sat in the back wondering why I didn't feel the same way.

I still didn't get it.

Once my depressed state got worse I decided to read into ways to love yourself and your body.

I started taking selfies, dressing up, wearing heels and makeup, forcing myself to sing even though I hated the way I looked and sounded.

It got worse.

I broke down when nobody was looking and acted like it was fine; like I wasn't praying that whatever I was feeling would go away for even a second.

And one day I looked in the mirror and I thought "this isnt right. This isn't me. This isn't what I want. Who in the hell is that person staring back at me?"

And I accepted it. That I would never be who I should be. That I would never be happy. Because nobody would love me. Nobody would want me. And nobody would accept me. Because if I was happy then that meant my family wouldn't have had the little girl theh thought they had gotten.

And up until recently no one knew that I broke down every night, that my thoughts got so bad I wanted to drown in my own tears so that maybe it would all be over. Because to me coming out to them was worse than death.

And here I am years later. My family knows but they don't care. They don't try to comprehend that this repression it kills me all the time. So I gathered my money got myself exactly what they told me they would never let me have and I lie. I go behind their backs and I live like the man I really am online. I bind my chest and I hide from their sight and when they ask I say it's just their eyes.

Because if they knew - if my mother knew - they would rather me suffer day after day than be who I am."

"heyo, i read your post and id like to put something to it.

i am a part of the community, havent came out to my parents yet, because i know for a fact id be sent to a psichologist or thrown out. but i am me online

an old friend of mine is a trans guy and found me a few weeks ago. he said he saw that i support LGBT+ and it was so comforting for him. a friend who i haven't talked with for 9 years!after he told me that he lost half of his family for being himself, his dad ignores him since, but he has a boyfriend and got his life together

and that i could be a little comfort for him is really nice. even the people who are closeted can be helpful in the community."

"Well, my mom took it well. I had gotten stuck in my closet and then she got me unstuck and I told her I was queer.

My brother, we were sitting in the car and he told me he always knew, but I had to keep it a secret from my dad or else bad things would happen.

My friends hugged me and started to use my name and pronounsSo coming out to my dad and stepmom, it wasn't even a coming out but a forced outage.

They took my phone away the night of a Panic attack that I still have nightmares over and searched it. They read all my messages.... everything.

I wanted to scream for it to stop, but I knew it wouldn't. They told me that they loved me, but I had to stop being me and I have to go back to being a girl who was cishet

But once you have a taste of freedom of who you really are, you can never go back ...I couldn't hide again. I just had to wait till I could spread my wings and be free somewhere else."

"Ok so for the thing you tagged me in, I don’t exactly have a coming out story yet, and I’m not sure of my identity entirely. I’ve tried out tons of labels and am sticking with queer at the moment just cuz it takes the stress off of picking an extremely definite word to describe me. I came out as queer last year, but I don’t consider it a coming out story because 1) I only told my friends and not my family, and 2) queer doesn’t completely define me. In real life, I’m doing my best to go back in the closet, but I think my “friends” may have told other people who spread rumors around my school, so it’s been difficult. A bunch of people make random references to me liking boys (I’m amab) and it made me uncomfortable enough that I started telling them I’m straight. I’m planning on staying as far in the closet as possible until people get more accepting and I understand myself fully."

"It's not a coming out story (mostly) but it's a realization of sorts.

Yesterday our Social Studies teached asked us to form groups and discuss a contemporary issue that we would present at the front in a few minutes. Long story short I suggested LGBT+ community and rights, which my group mates accepted. I live in a really conservative country (with at least 81% of the entire population identifying as Christians) and that's an extremely taboo topic. It ended up leading the teacher asking us to raise our hands if we believed the lgbt community should be allowed Civil Union, not considering religion an all. I was so afraid to raise my hand, but it was what I believed in and I couldn't live with it if I didn't show it, so I raised my hand. I didn't really do this as a member of the community, I wasn't thinking of myself. I was thinking of a world where this is accepted in my country, where I can go outside and be open and love whoever I wanted to, and I guess the idea of standing up for what I believed in was what pushed me to do that. A big majority of the class was against, and I was just so afraid even though some small logical part of me knew they would not do anything.Today, our Civics teacher had us grouped again to make a live news report and once again, my group (international news) got assigned lgbt+ community because of our listed problems yesterday. I suggested interviewing a member of the community and basically came out to two people I knew were trustworthy (nearly all three other members in that group but thank God I think the third one did not hear) and we agreed that I could be used if I only had my voice recorded and edited to not sound like me. Just a few hours ago I found out that one of my classmates, who I thought was a nice sweet boy, turned out to be a big homophobe. "Sodom and Gomora and Liberals are teaching unnatural things" kind of guy.I guess that broke something in me, because another thing I was really passionate about for when I grew up was this certain job, though no one supported me. I used to want to do that so much the idea of anything else repelled me, sometimes the idea of the other more "acceptable" jobs brought me to tears. Somehow this one admission that I thought everyone should have the right to at least a civil union and finding out my classmates didn't believe in that crushed something in me hard enough that I lost the passion to do that job I wanted. It makes no sense how this connected with that apart from the fact that neither are things I have been or would be supported on, but I guess seeing that this world isn't really safe made me lose hope.I felt scared to raise my hand, almost like I was actually coming out (which I now realize I'm absolutely never doing to many of those people) and the realization that some place I thought was a safe space for me, because all of those people in that class, I thought I could trust them. I've been with them since before I could spell "friend" correctly, they're family to me, I believed I would be safe and accepted, and then came to find out that wasn't quite the case...But well, basically I was terrified then crushed to find out that I could have outted myself to a group of people who would not take my news lightly

Found out some people I thought were friends thought people like me were broken

Found out some people I used to have the biggest crushes on didn't even believe in letting people have a civil union."

"I’m very excited to see brave people like you ready to start a revolution, so I thought I’d share my, sorta, coming out experience.

So I have divorced parents meaning I’d have to come out to four parents. This happened mainly last year. I was pretty sure I was bi, (tho I now identify panromantic demigirl) I knew my dad and stepmom would be great with it, and they were. But when it came to my mother, well, she wasn’t really homophobic, but she had different ideas about how a gay person should behave. She outed me to her after overhearing a convo with my friends. She then told me I was too young, and gave the “its a phase” talk. She knew I was fairly open about it because I lived by a motto to “be so myself that other people feel brave enough to be themselves too” But she believed a gay person should keep it a secret. Nowadays I don’t believe in the process of “coming out” I am open about my sexuality and gender but I don’t do formal coming outs. I always believed that if straights don’t have to, neither should I just because I “don’t fit a default” My mother wants me to come out to my stepfather even tho he already knows. I thought sharing a coming out story that also showed you should never feel obligated to come out. My mother guilt trips me about it, but I remain rooted in my beliefs that I shouldn’t have to come out, which I think is valid.

Hope my story can help anyone and just wanna say you are so so valid, amazing and powerful and should never feel pressured to be open if you don’t want to. Long live the revolution!!!🏳️‍🌈."

"Hello! I read your post about collecting LGTBQA+ stories and I thought Id share my brief experiences as a bi girl from Germany ^^

Tbh I never made a big deal about coming out, as I personally feel it goes to show that we're revealing a wierd secret, and Id like my sexualtiy to be something normal, not a main identifying characteristic. And everyone of my friends or classmates that I mention it to appear to have no problem with that whatsoever, and as far as I know Im not percieved as predatory either.

My family, however, is a whole different matter. While Im sure that my mums side of the family would be perfectly fine and my parents know already, when youve heard your fathers parents talk about eastern europeans and other immigrants using only slurwords and your uncles parents have expressed their absolute disgust about seeing a gay couple enjoy a nice picnic at the park, you get very cautious about who you tell. Especially since I dont want to put the supportive family in the position of having to consider whom they can talk to about this.

Another thing that Ive noticed after my exchange year in Sweden and seeing my first pride, though not having the time to attend, on my way there in Copenhagen, is how little support my country gives to this community from a social perspective. At my swedish school, all the teachers had a rainbow keyband from a *seminar about LGBTQA+ people*, something Im sure Germany would never do, and all of them kept it. There was no question whether you support us or not, it was an acceped part of social life and no big deal; we even did a private introduction round for pronouns!

And then I came back here. During pride month, there were no rainbow decorations, the most I saw of a parade was two discarded paper flags on the ground afterwards. When I vented about this to my ally friend, she only said that "some people and companies just like to stay neutral". Try all of them in Germany, but sure.

I know our community has come far, but I can also see that it isnt fsr enough, and that is the fight I am still fighting.

Hope this helps ^^."

"Alright. Mine isnt that interesting but I'll do my best :)

I came out as bisexual when i was in the sixth grade. It wasnt a huge deal to my mom. She said okay and we went on with our lives. Around the end of that year, i told her i thought i was trans and she said i wasnt. I came out to her again six months later and she said the same thing. There was a lot of yelling. Mind you, she isnt transphobic at all. The third time... she was so done with me. She yelled and so did i. It took four different times for her to accept me, and even then, i had to do the last time over text because i was scared of her reaction."

"So, my name is Ell. I identify as queer and demigender. I don't know what to say here really early than it's important to find others like you when you're not as close to your family as you used to be. Because of your identity. My family is more accepting than most, but still. The community online is so so important to me, and this project makes me really happy. So thank you. "

"I was at sea world and my mom was in the car I was talking about how my dad was super homophobic. My mom says that my dad acts like it’s a disease I said will if it is then I have got it, My mom is understanding and says that she will love me no matter what."

"So, I’m non-binary and bisexual. That’s a big no-no in a latino family like mine, it’s always grow up, get married with the opposite sex, and have kids. I don’t know why I felt that I could just say anything to my mom one day and she immediately objected. “Are you sure you’re not a lesbian or just confused? You can’t like more than one gender. Also, what’s this about a non gender? You’re either a boy or a girl, that’s it.”

Thankfully after a lecture and me apologizing (though I did nothing but tell her more about me) she let the subject go. I’ve never told my dad because I know mom just will get in the way and say I’m lying again, but at least my friends are understanding and almost completely LGBTQ+."

[crescendohowell]

Your Name and Kiss Belong in the Same Sentence

Summary: Neither Dan or Phil has ever had a boyfriend before and they think that part of the reason might be because nobody even realises they like boys.  So, as best friends do, they decide to pretend to date each other, that way at least it’s obvious they aren’t straight.  And with an agreed upon set of boundaries, nothing can go wrong.  Right?

Word Count: 9k

Warnings: swearing, anxiety attack, underage drinking/alcohol

A/N: me actually finishing a fic?? who knew this was even possible anymore lmao (although i found 6k of this already done in my drafts from october so?? does this even count).  also tysm to leah for letting me scream at her about this and for editing it for me, you’re the best <33

read on ao3 instead

Dan and Phil had been best friends for what felt like forever.  They had grown up together, in houses only a few blocks away and couldn’t remember a time where they hadn’t known each other.  They had always been Dan and Phil, their names never separated.

Everyone had warned them that friends often grow apart over time, especially as they moved from middle school to high school.  For some reason people seemed to think that there was no way that the two boys could stay as close friends as they were forever.

Luckily, that wasn’t true at all.  Because now it was their senior year of high school and if anything they were closer friends than they had ever been before.  Sure, they talked to their other friends at school and hung out with them occasionally, but nine times out of ten it was just the two of them watching movies at each other’s houses or playing videos games or doing homework.  It wasn’t that they didn’t like their other friends, but they didn’t really feel any need to hang out with them outside of school.  When it was just the two of them there was never any drama.  

It was one of those nights that they were hanging out with just the two of them at Phil’s house that Dan brought up something they didn’t talk about much.  But that was later in the night.  For now they were just throwing away the remains of the pizza they had for dinner and settling in on the couch to watch a movie.  

“What do you wanna watch?” Phil asked as they sat in the same spots on the couch that they always did, Dan on the right of Phil.  Neither of them really knew when those positions had been established but now they were completely natural and any time they didn’t sit in the same spots something felt off.

“I don’t know, you pick,” Dan didn’t look up from scrolling through his phone until suddenly a pillow hit him in the face.  “Hey!” He exclaimed.

“You say that every time!” Phil, the pillow thrower, complained.

“I’m being flexible.” Dan argued.

“Yeah, and it’s so helpful,” Phil said sarcastically.

“I trust you to always pick out the good movies.” It was true, they did have very similar movie taste and Dan almost always liked the same ones as Phil.

“Fine,” Phil sighed, “Maybe I’ll just pick a bad one to annoy you.”

“You do that,” Dan laughed, knowing that Phil hated sitting through bad movies even more than him.

They did eventually settle on rewatching the first Star Wars movie.  It had been a while since they had watched it and it was always a good time to laugh at the old fashioned special effects.  They would have to go see the new one in theaters when it came out.

After the movie they decided to head to bed as they were both plenty tired from waking up way too early for school all week.  Besides, they both knew that they would end up spending hours scrolling on their phones and talking before they actually went to bed.

They had done this so many times by now that everything was practically already set up for Dan to spend the night.  Phil had a big bed so they could both sleep there and Dan had a drawer in Phil’s closet where he kept a couple pairs of pajamas and other clothes.  After they brushed their teeth (Dan’s toothbrush already sitting in the cup next to the sink along with Phil’s) they closed Phil’s bedroom door and turned off the lights, diving under the covers and laughing because it was late and they were tired and at a certain point in the night everything always becomes funny.

It was even later, when their phones had been plugged into chargers next to each other, and they were laying in the dark, talking sometimes and sometimes not, that Dan brought up an idea that he had been thinking about for a long time.

“So you know how I really want a boyfriend?” He began.

Phil laughed.  “Yeah, same.  Or a girlfriend honestly.  Somehow living that bisexual life has still got me zero dates.”

“True,” Dan laughed too.  “But nobody even knows that we want boyfriends.  Or in your case a girlfriend I guess, but that’s already assumed so it’s really only the boyfriend thing that’s a problem.”

“Yeah,” Phil agreed.  “It’s dumb.”

“I agree.” Dan replied.  They had came out to each years ago now but had never really bothered telling anyone else.  “So I was thinking, and feel free to tell me that this is a dumb idea, but what if we pretended to date so that we didn’t have to do that whole Coming Out thing and then once people realise we like boys then we can break up?  At least then any guys will know that we’re interested in their gender.  Maybe we’d have at least slightly more of a chance of getting a date then.”

“I mean, I’m not opposed to it,” Phil said carefully; he had actually thought about something similar many times.

“It’ll be like Josh and Nathan last year,” Dan added.  “Everybody thought that Josh was straight but when they started going out nobody questioned it.”

“True,” Phil did remember that.  

“We don’t have to, or anything,” Dan repeated, making sure that Phil didn’t feel forced into it.  “I just thought that it might be easier.  I mean, we’re practically dating already.  I’m not even sure what we’d have to do differently.”

“We’d have to hold hands I’d imagine.”  Phil had been going over what they’d do as a couple in his head ever since Dan had first mentioned the idea.  “Maybe kiss a couple times.”  Phil almost stuttered on the word kiss.  Kiss and Dan had never been in the same vicinity.  They weren’t supposed to be.  Phil didn’t know how he felt now that they were possibly going to be very connected.  All he knew was that the idea made his heart jump up into his throat and his hands warm.

“That wouldn’t mess up our friendship though,” Dan interrupted Phil’s thoughts. “We’d be fine, even if we had to kiss, right?”

“After all these years I’d sure hope so,” Phil joked to hide how unsure he really was. He really liked the idea of pretending to be a couple, he just wasn’t convinced that things would be able to stay the same.  But now that Dan was offering, Phil really wanted to say yes.  So he did.  “I say we go for it.”

“Really?” Dan hadn’t really been expecting Phil to agree.

“Really.” Phil couldn’t believe he was saying yes.  

They didn’t jump into it or anything.  Actually, neither of the boys brought it up for a couple days.  Phil had begun to think that maybe it was nothing more than late night rambling and making plans that they followed through on.  But then, the following Wednesday, when he was over at Dan’s house doing homework, Dan brought the topic back up.

“So do you wanna go on a date or something?” Dan asked, half joking.  He was sat on his bed, working on his computer while Phil sat as his desk.

“Um-m,” Phil stuttered, taken completely off guard as one moment he was struggling over calculus and then next Dan was saying that.

“Kidding,” Dan clarified.  “I guess,” he gave a crooked smile as Phil turned around his chair to face him.  

“Yeah, I don’t really know how to start this whole thing either,” Phil felt nervous for some reason, but he didn’t quite know why.

“Maybe we should set some boundaries?” Dan suggested.  “That way we both know what we’re getting into.”

“Yeah, that sounds like a good idea,” Phil agreed.  He always liked planning things out.  “So, where do we start.”

Homework was pretty much forgotten after that, as instead the two boys came up with and actually wrote down a list of all the things they could and couldn’t do.  

Hand holding and other casual touching was allowed.  So was kissing, so long as it didn’t involve any tongue.

“But what if our friends are there and we need to convince them we’re properly dating?” Dan asked.

“Fine, maybe tongue is okay then,” Phil agreed.  It felt odd to talk about this sort of thing so casually.  It was as if they were planning out their romance.  Which really was what was happening.

Phil requested that ‘nothing too sexual’ be a boundary, to which Dan argued that was too unclear but it got added anyway. There would be no telling their parents about their plan, coming out to them would have to be done separately.

“Are we going to be one of those gross couples that posts about each other constantly on social media?” Phil wondered.

“I mean we kinda already do that babe,” Dan laughed.

“Shut up,” Phil blushed.  “No calling each other babe, I’m adding it to the list.”

“How about sunshine?” Dan countered.  “Honey?  Love?”

“I hate you,” Phil groaned.

“Now that’s not the way to talk to your boyfriend.” Dan teased.

“Oh my god, why did I agree to this?”  Phil leaned back, covering his face with his hands.

“It’s cuz’ you love me!” Dan said, still teasing.

“Yeah, as friends,” Phil peeked through his fingers at him.  “What if this goes wrong somehow?”  he got serious for a moment.  “What do we do then?”

“The second one of us wants out we say so,” Dan stopped making fun.  “Even if it’s in the middle of all our friends.  If you’re ever uncomfortable we’ll stop.”

“Yeah, okay,” That made Phil feel better.  “Like a safe word or something.”

“True,” Dan smiled.  It was a little different from an ordinary safeword but in some ways it was really the same.  “What do you want it to be?”

“How about I just call you Daniel?  Or you call me Philip if you want to call it off.  We never do that so there shouldn’t be any times that comes up unless we want it to.” Phil suggested.  “And that way if we’re around other people it won’t be hard to work into the conversation or anything.”

“Sounds perfect.” Dan was fairly certain things wouldn’t end badly, but having a way to get out of everything made him feel even more confident about the whole thing.  “Now back to the kissing…”

“God, I hate you.”

The spent the rest of that afternoon figuring out the final things and adding to the list.  Phil considering making both of them sign it to make it some sort of formal agreement but Dan managed to convince him that their trust was enough to guarantee they would follow what they had written down.  All they really had to remember was to make things believable but not go further than that.  

However, it turned out that writing things down on paper was a lot easier than actually going through with any of it.

The first issue was that neither of them quite knew how to annouce they were dating.  They were already such close friends that if they just hinted at it people probably wouldn’t even notice.  So they needed to do something that clearly showed how they were a couple.  Something that their friends could see but that that didn’t make to of big of a deal out of everything.

“What if we start holding hand at lunch?” Dan suggested as they were driving to school together two days later.  Or more accurately Dan was driving like he always did and Phil was getting distracted staring out the window and trying not to get motion sick.

“But that could be considered friendly.” Phil pointed out.

“But really?  I feel like our friend group wouldn’t think that.  I mean none of our friends now hold hands.”

“But none of them are as close as we are.”

“True,” Dan sighed.  “Goddamn, if we weren’t already such a married couple this would be so much easier.”

Eventually, the boys decided that holding hands was a good start.  Hopefully one of their friends would ask or make a joke about it and then they could say that they were dating.  It seemed simple enough.

But that didn’t explain, when it came time for lunch, why Phil’s heart was suddenly beating out of his chest and his palms were sweating just at the thought of walking into the cafeteria holding hands with Dan.  Right now he was walking to meet Dan outside his history class, so it was giving Phil plenty of time to overthink what they were about to do (though really he had been overthinking ever since they decided that today was the day on the car ride to school).  Phil just really hoped that this went well.  He wasn’t sure why he cared so much, but he really wanted it to.

“Ready?” Dan interrupted Phil’s thoughts as he emerged from the classroom, quick to stand right at Phil’s side.  “We can still back out.” Dan added when Phil hesitated.

“No, no, I’m fine,” Phil insisted.  “Let’s go.”  He took Dan’s hand in his.

It felt much more natural than they both expected.

In fact, by the time that they got to the table they always sat at with their other friends at lunch, Dan and Phil had both forgotten that they were even holding hands in the first place.

“Oh my god,” Louise’s exclamation made them suddenly remember.  “Did you guys finally get your act together and start dating?”

“What do you mean get our act together and-” Dan started.

“Yes,” Phil interrupted, elbowing Dan slightly.  “We did.” He smiled as he looked fondly at Dan.  Phil was trying really hard to make this whole dating thing believable.

“I’m so happy for you,” Louise beamed.  “Lord knows it took long enough.”

“True,” Phil agreed, as him and Dan both sat down at the table and began to get their lunches out.

“So how exactly did you guys do the whole shift from friends to dating thing?”  She asked.

“We were just talking one night,” Dan finally spoke up.  “And we realised that we were basically already dating, just without the kissing bit I mean, and we figured that maybe adding that bit wouldn’t be such a bad idea.”  

“You guys are basically a married couple,” PJ chimed in.

“We were just talking about that this morning.” Phil laughed.

“Well I’m glad you guys figured it out.  We were beginning to think that you were both so dense there was no chance you would ever realise how you’ve been mutually crushing on each other forever.”  Louise said.

“Yeah,” PJ added, “We were beginning to think that you guys didn’t even realise that you had a crush at all.”

“True,” Louise laughed.  “Okay, but now can we talk about the math test because I have that next period and I need some math facts fast if I’m going to have any hope of passing.”

So telling their friends that they were dating went well.  Actually, maybe it went too well.  Because both of them couldn’t stop thinking about how their friends had assumed it was real easily because they figured they had had crushed on each other for ages.  And that wasn’t true.  Of course not.

Besides, this whole plan wasn’t really about their friends.  Dan and Phil had both figured that their friends would not be surprised about the whole not straight thing.  But the goal of this whole plan was to make it known around the school about this whole not straight thing.  That way there would be more of a chance of them getting dates.  So even though they had told their friends they were dating, that was only the beginning.  And somehow they needed to come up with a plan to spread it beyond that.

Luckily none of that needed to happen right away and they were able to spend the rest of the school days as they always did (in classes that were painfully never together and texting the whole time to make up for it).  After school they drove home together and decided to hang out at Phil’s house from that afternoon.  It wasn’t so much of a question of if they would hang out or not, but rather where.

They ended up settled back in their spots on the couch, this time playing video games instead of watching a movie, and the afternoon flew by.  Afternoons like this, Fridays when it was just autumn enough to justify not going outside, were some of Phil’s favourite in the world.  He figured that video games and comfy sofas and sitting just close enough to have their knees brushing together was the best type of happiness in the world.  And Dan would be inclined to agree.

“Dan, what are we doing?” Phil asked.  It was much later now, bedtime actually.  They were both under the covers in Phil’s bed, just as they had been when they first came up with this plan.  Late night conversations were always the easiest place to talk about things.

“What do you mean?” Dan stared at the ceiling, his eyes wide open even though there was nothing to take in as the room was drowned in darkness.

“I just…” Phil started before trailing off.  “I can’t help but feel like this isn’t going to end how we’re planning.  It seems like things like this never do.”

“We’ll be fine.”  Dan quickly assured (even though neither of them quite knew what he was reassuring about).  “We’ve been friends far too long for one failed plan to ruin us.  Besides, how many of our plans have failed in the past?”

“A lot of them!” Phil protested.

“But we’re still here.” Dan proved his point.  “None of those have ended our friendship, so I don’t see how this one would.”

“Yeah,” Phil agreed.  “That does actually make sense.”

“Of course it does, I am very smart, you know,” Dan joked.

“And that’s why you have a C in English right now,” Phil replied back.

“That’s just because Mr. R doesn’t appreciate my sense of humor or writing style!” Dan tried to defend himself.

“Sure,” Phil said sarcastically, grinning since Dan couldn’t see him.  Really, he did agree with Dan - he should have an A in the class - but it was much more fun teasing him about it than saying that.

“We should probably go to bed,” Dan mentioned after glancing over at the clock.  “It’s getting late.”

“Yeah,” Phil had noticed the clock a couple of minutes ago but he hadn’t said anything.  He always hated having to stop talking and going to bed instead.  He was getting really sleepy though, so maybe it was time.  “You’ll still be here in the morning, right?” He asked.  That was something he said every night that they were sleeping over at either of their houses.  Because when they had just started being friends, when they were little kids, Dan had left a sleepover in the middle of the night, and Phil had been really confused when he wasn’t there in the morning.  So now it was their joke that he always asked.

“Yeah,” Dan replied, smiling to himself.  Now he would never leave in a million years. He felt way more at home here, in Phil’s bed with him, than he did back alone at his house.  “I hope you don’t snore.”  That was Dan’s part of the bit because that was the reason he went home when he was little, he had been scared of Phil’s soft snoring (if it could even be called that as Dan now knew it was more of a slightly heavy breathing - a breathing that he had come to memorize).

“I would never.” Phil replied, smiling to himself.  “Goodnight Dan.”  He added softly.

“Night,” Dan turned so he wasn’t looking at the ceiling any longer and closed his eyes.  “Love you.”

“Love you too.”

So yeah, maybe the dating was a little confusing, at least for now, but this was easy.  This was when they both felt most at home.  There was no way that they would ever break it.  Not when Dan curled closer only a few moments after saying goodnight and neither of them moved away.

They continued to keep up the dating thing around their friends and when they walked between classes together sometimes they held hands.  It was just enough that slowly but surely the word began to spread around the school that they were dating.  It was just like they had planned.  Everything was working without any problems.

After about two weeks went by Phil began to think about if it was was time for them to “break up” yet.  Because they had achieved their goal - people knew they were dating and given that information, were no longer straight - but for some reason Phil didn’t feel like it was time for them to be done with this fake relationship.  He reckoned that people probably didn’t really think of them as couple, some probably still thought they were friends.  They still needed to do something to cement their non-platonic status (or at least their fake non-platonic status).  Besides, they had to wait a least a couple more weeks before breaking up if this was going to seem like any sort of real relationship at all.

Of course Phil didn’t really have any idea for what they should do for this whole confirming they were a couple thing so he decided to ask Dan about it.

“True, we do need to do something,” Dan agreed.  “But I don’t know what.”

“Same,” Phil sighed. They were in Dan’s room, and Phil was laying on the bed while Dan sat at his desk attempting to do homework (at least that’s what he had been trying to do before Phil distracted him with this much more interesting topic).

“What’s something that normal couples do?” Dan wondered aloud.

“Kiss.” Phil shocked himself by saying it aloud, but that had been what they were both thinking.

“Yeah, they kiss,” Dan repeated back.  He was glad he was facing the wall opposite his desk because he didn’t want Phil to see the way his face grew warm at even the mention of kissing.

“I mean we’ve both kissed girls before,” Phil tried to make it seem like less of a big deal.  “How different can it be really?”

“But you’re attracted to girls too,” Dan pointed out.  “I’ve never kissed anyone I actually like that way.”

“But you don’t l-like me that way,” Phil stuttered slightly on the words for some reason.  “So it should be pretty much the same.”

“I don’t know if that’s quite how it works Phil,” Dan almost felt like laughing.

“Yeah,” Phil admitted.  “I know.”

There was a moment of silence then as they both thought about what to do.

“What if we practised first?” Phil suggested.  “That way we’ll know what to expect going into it.  And you can pretend that this doesn’t count.  Your first kiss with a guy can be the next guy.”

“Or it could just be that my first kiss with a guy is with my best friend.  It’s that whole your first kiss should be with someone who really cares about you shit.” Dan’s cheeks were really red now as they continued to talk so casually about kissing.  But the more that they talked about it, the more than Dan became certain that for some reason, he really wanted to kiss Phil.

“Yeah, or that,” Phil agreed.  He really wanted to know what it would feel like to finally kiss a boy too.  He had always thought that Dan had nice lips (even if they were always ridiculously chapped).

“We should still do that whole practice thing though,” Dan added. “And then we can just casually make out at a party or something.” He joked.  Thought really it didn't sound like as much of a joke as he intended.

“Did you wanna practice now?” Phil asked.  He felt like his heart was jumping into his throat.

“I-I guess,” Dan finally turned around to look at Phil.  “Might as well.”

“Might as well,” Phil repeated before starting to giggle.  “What a great reason to kiss someone.  Might as well.”

“Shut up,” Dan started giggling too.  Really the conversation had been much too serious and suddenly neither of them could stop laughing.  “God, maybe the real reason we can’t get dates is cuz’ we’re too big of dorks.” Dan said once he could finally stop enough to talk.

“True,” Phil agreed.  “None of the boys will ever want to date us.”

“The only date we’ll ever be able to get is each other.” Dan joked.

“Yeah, maybe we’ll just have to date.” Phil smiled (though a universe in which him and Dan were dating kept becoming easier to imagine).

“But, actually,” Dan brought the conversation back to the topic at hand, “Should we practise now?”

“Sure,” Phil tried to sound more confident than he felt, his nerves from before instantly returning.

“I’ll come over there?” Dan said, it coming out as more of a question than a statement.

“Oh, yeah,” Phil sat up and scooted over so that there was room for Dan to sit on the bed next to him.

When Dan sat down the mattress sank slightly, and they ended up sitting closer than intended, but neither of them made any effort to move away because at this point that seemed rather pointless.  Their arms brushed together and Phil felt like his arm was tingling there.  Meanwhile Dan could barely breath, half from the nerves and half from the smell that sitting so close to Phil brought.  Because Phil always smelled indescribably good, like warm and strawberries and the scent of boy (in the good way) and they were both silent as these thoughts raced through their heads, thinking about what they were about to do.

Realistically, the both knew that one kiss wasn’t going to ruin their friendship or anything.  Plenty of friends had probably kissed before.  But for some reason it felt like this was more than that.  Only it couldn’t be.  Because they were just kissing for practise for their fake relationship.  It couldn’t mean anything because if that was true it would mean that at least one of them was falling for the other and unlike a simple kiss between two friends, that was something that could likely ruin a friendship.  So this couldn’t mean anything.  It wouldn’t.

But Phil’s skin was already tingling and he was thinking about how nice it would be to hold Dan close, his hand tangled lightly in his hair.  Or maybe his hands would be on Dan’s back, pulling him closer.

Dan was thinking about how Phil was probably really good at kissing, as Phil was really good as most things.  He thought about how it would feel to finally kiss a boy.  He had been waiting for this for so long.  He had never expected that it would be with Phil, but for some reason, it didn’t feel wrong that it was.

“So,” Phil broke the silence that felt like it had been going on forever when it had really only been a few moments as all the thoughts flew through their brains. “Should we just go for it?”

“Sure,” Dan internally swore because he wasn’t ready at all, but this was as close as he was going to ever be.  And even though the thought of kissing was terrifying, Dan knew that he wanted, needed, to kiss Phil.

So one of them, later they would never be able to remember who it was that finally did it, leaned in slightly and their lips were pressed together.  And it didn’t feel wrong at all.

Phil ended up putting his hands on Dan’s back, his fingers curling as they gripped onto his shirt.  And Dan loved the way that felt, but not nearly as much as the actual kissing because holy fuck he was kissing a boy and it felt so much better than he had ever imagined and all the things he had been worrying about for years were validated.

Their lips moved together softly until they absolutely had to break apart to take a breath.  Both of them couldn’t stop smiling afterwards and Dan was so cute Phil couldn’t resist giving him one more quick kiss.

“Well,” Dan started before stopping because he was smiling so much and his heart felt like it might burst so he couldn’t quite get the words out.

“Yeah,” Phil agreed, equally as breathless.  “Maybe we should do a little more practise?”  He said, only half joking.

“Just a little friendly kissing.” Dan teased back, but he was mostly serious too.

“Why not?” Phil smirked.

“Why not.” Dan echoed back before leaning in to kiss Phil again.  

And somehow it was even better than the first.

Luckily, it was only a couple days later that a perfect opportunity came up for Dan and Phil to put this new practice into action.  The girl that Dan sat next to in english was having a party and somehow during one of their conversations about it, Dan got him and Phil invited.  Most everyone from their grade was welcome, so it wasn’t the invitation itself that was a big deal but rather that it would be the perfect chance to be seen as a couple by people that they didn’t necessarily sit with at lunch.

The party was set to be the following friday (when the girl’s mom was out of town) so they still had a little time to wait.  Neither of the boys minded much though as that meant they weren’t moving closer to the inevitable “breakup”, which both of them were beginning to dread for some reason.  Also, it gave them more time to practise.  After all, practise makes perfect.

Yet, soon enough it was the night of the party and Dan was arriving at Phil’s house to pick him up so that they could drive there.  He tried to text Phil to get him to meet him in the car, but Phil texted back frantically that he still didn’t know what to wear so Dan reluctantly got out his car and made his way to Phil’s front door.

He walked in without knocking as that’s what they always did whenever they were at each other’s house - as long as the front door was unlocked they could walk right in.

“Phil,” Dan called out, as he wandered down the hallway towards Phil’s room.  “Come on.”  He complained.  “Just pick out goddamn shirt, it’s not that hard.”

“Oh says you,” Phil swung his bedroom door open to let Dan in.  “I’m sure you’ve had that outfit picked out for a week.”  He wasn’t wearing a shirt yet, only his black jeans, and it seemed like all the shirts he owned were scattered on the floor.

Dan didn’t really notice the stuff on the floor though.  He was too busy trying not to stare at Phil’s bare chest (and miserably failing) to really see anything else.  “You’re giving me far too much credit for advance planning.”  He managed to respond to Phil’s comment about his clothes.

“Oh yeah,” Phil mused, “I forgot.  You’re the type of person who can do everything last minute and still manage to somehow be both flawless and on time.”

“Just barely on time,” Dan countered.

“True,” Phil smiled.  Normally he had to be the one stressing out and pushing Dan along to make sure they got out the door at the right time.  “What should I wear though?” Phil brought the conversation back to his predicament.

“I don’t know,” Dan shrugged, “You look good in literally anything, I don’t think you need to put this much thought into it.”  He said without really thinking.  “Besides, if everything goes how we want it to people will be concentrating on the fact that we’re dating more than whatever clothes you finally put on.”

“Okay, fine, if it’s that easy why don’t you just pick a shirt out for me.”  Phil replied.

“Sure,” Dan looked around on the floor at all the clothes scattered there for the first time since he had walked through Phil’s bedroom door.  “Wear this one.” He handed Phil a black jumper with constellations on the back.

“Of course you pick the black one,” Phil pointed out as he took it from Dan’s hands.

“You look good in black.” Dan felt almost disappointed that Phil was putting on a shirt at all, but he always looked stunning in black so that made it at least slightly better.

“I thought you said I looked good in all colours,” Phil teased, his voice muffled as he was midway putting the jumper on.

“Shut up,” Even Dan would admit that his friendly flirting was a bit more obvious tonight.  “Are you ready to go now?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Phil grabbed his phone off his bed and put it in his pocket before roughly slipping on some vans that he could tie in the car.  “Let’s go.” He walked out into the hallway with Dan following closely behind.  “Oh and Dan,” Phil turned around so quickly that Dan almost ran into him.  “For the record, you always look good in black too.”

“T-thanks.” Dan managed in reply.

“You’re welcome,” Phil smiled his normal goofy smile before turning back around and continuing towards the door.  

The drive to the party didn’t take long, especially with them blasting music and singing along the whole way there.  Before going in they decided that Phil would be the designated driver considering he hated the taste of beer to begin with so he wouldn’t mind the not drinking as much.  They also decided that they would just do the whole kissing thing when it felt right.  That was why they had practised after all, so that it would look natural when they had to do it in front of other people.

The party was full of people that they recognized from school but most of them were already more drunk than either of the boys planned on getting.  There were plenty of couples making out too, so at least they wouldn’t be out of place later.

Neither of them really knew what to do but the loud music was pretty good and soon enough someone offered them drinks that they both accepted (even though Phil knew he wasn’t going to drink it, the person offering seemed excited enough that he hadn’t wanted to offend them by saying no).  On the other hand, Dan was glad for the surprisingly cool beer that actually tasted pretty decent after a few sips.  The taste wasn’t even important though as it helped with his nerves and that was what really mattered.

Dan wasn’t even sure why he was nervous.  He didn’t have a problem with people knowing they were dating or really even with the fact that he was going to have to kiss his friend again.  In fact, he was kinda looking forward to it, Phil was quite a good kisser.  So why was he nervous?

“Shit” Dan muttered when he realised it.

“What?” Phil heard him even over the loud music because they had never moved more than a few inches apart since they had gotten there.

“Nothing.” Dan quickly replied.

But really everything was wrong.  Because Dan wasn’t nervous.  He was excited.  The feeling in his stomach wasn’t one of anxiety, but rather anticipation.  Dan was looking forward to being able to kiss Phil again because yeah, Phil was a fucking great kisser, but also because Dan wanted to be kissing Phil all the time, like you would do with your boyfriend.  And they were boyfriends.  Only none of it was real.  And Dan had fucked it all up by catching feelings.  Shit.

It made more sense the more he thought about it.  Their friends had been right all along, Dan had been too oblvious to even notice his own feelings.  God, Dan began to realise that he had had a crush on Phil forever.

But if their friends were right about him, maybe they were right about Phil too.  Maybe they were right about their mutual attraction.

But Dan couldn’t let himself think that.  He couldn’t give himself that shred of hope because if it turned out to be wrong he knew that he would be destroyed.

Yet Dan couldn’t bring any of these revelations up know.  They were still at the party with the loud music and the now empty beer gripped in his hand.  Phil was still standing next to him, their arms brushing and wait, they were holding hands?  Dan didn’t remember that starting.  Suddenly the room felt too hot and Phil was too close and Dan felt like the world was spinning around him.

“You alright?” Phil asked again, concern in his eyes.

“Yeah,” Dan leaned in even closer to talk to him.  “Just thinking.”

“Thinking is where you run into all your problems,” Phil teased fondly, referencing the many occasions in which he had to talk Dan out of the crises he thought himself into.

“You’re right,” Dan felt like laughing.  Phil was always right when it came to him.  Besides, there was nothing Dan could do now and he had just discovered that he had huge crush on the person that he was supposed to be kissing soon.  And for now, maybe that wasn’t a problem, because at least for now, Phil wanted to kiss him back.  “Do you wanna do the thing?” He asked.

“The thing,” Phil smiled.  “Yeah, I’d love to do the whole kissing thing.”  His eyes crinkled around the edges.

“You’re so cute when you do that,” Dan said as he set the beer down and his hand made it’s way to the side of Phil’s face, his thumb brushing gently next to Phil’s eye, where it was lined with happiness.

“You’re just cute all the time,” Phil replied, leaning in to kiss Dan before he could respond and any words Dan might have come up with were caught in between their lips.

Dan’s eyes fluttered shut as he leaned into Phil.  The loud party around them that had been making him light headed only a moment ago quickly faded away and doon Dan was feeling dizzy for a completely different reason.  Because now Phil’s lips were moving against his like they had been doing this for years and fuck they should have been doing this for years.  Kissing Phil felt better than anything else Dan had even done and if he could, he would kiss him for the rest of his life.  Dan would stay in that crowded party with Phil’s arms wrapped around his waist with their lips moving against each other, and he could be content forever.

Unfortunately they did break apart (though it was mostly so that they could breathe).  When they leaned away from each other Phil noticed how Dan’s lips were a darker shade of red than normal.  He liked the way it looked.  He liked the way that it was from them kissing.  Knowing that it was from him felt almost better than the kissing itself.

“You’re good at this,” Phil said, not making any motion to move away from Dan.  They were still close enough that he could feel Dan pressed up all against him. Phil’s hands gripped the fabric on the back of Dan’s shirt, low enough that they were practically at his jeans.

Dan wished Phil’s hands were on his jeans.  “So are you.” Dan replied, tried to joke but really he couldn’t stop thinking about how fucked he was.  The one beer wasn’t doing anything to calm his nerves and the realisation that everything was going to shit.  And it was all because of him.

“Your lips look pretty like this,” Phil kissed him again, biting ever so gently.

Dan felt like he couldn’t breath.  Everything felt like it was happening at full force and there was none of the fuzzy tinge that came from being tipsy that he desperately needed to take the edge off.  Instead Phil was acting like the one with lowered inhibitions when he hadn’t touched a drink all night.

“Why do you keep flirting with me like that?” Dan asked, much more serious than made sense for being in the middle of a party where they could barely hear each other.

“Because you’re my boyfriend.” Phil smiled.  

He didn’t get it.  Of course he didn’t.  He hadn’t caught feelings.

And instead of letting that hurt like Dan knew it would if he even processed the words at all, Dan pulled him closer and kissed him hard.  Then Dan drank Phil’s beer.  And they kissed some more.  The no tongue allowed rule seemed like a distant memory.  And after a couple more drinks everything finally seemed fuzzy.  Dan stopped thinking at all.

He stopped remembering too, because when Dan woke up the next morning with the sunlight much too bright around him, the last thing he could remember doing was taking Phil’s drink.

“Oh my god, it’s so bright,” He groaned, rolling over to shove his face under the pillow.

“Good morning to you too. Glad I was already awake otherwise that would have been even more amazing to hear,” Phil pulled the pillow of Dan’s head, his voice way too happy for so early in the morning.

“No, give it back,” Dan half heartedly tried to grab it.  “I need it to mute the headache.” He closed his eyes again, the aching behind his forehead seemed to be impossibly strong.

“I can get you an aspirin,” Phil was already half out of bed before Dan pulled him back.

“No,” Dan said hurriedly, “I’m sure you already took care of me enough last night.  You don't need to do anything more.”

“It’s fine,” Phil had ended up almost on top Dan when he had been so quickly pulled back into the bed.  “I don’t mind,” Phil gently brushed some of Dan’s curls off his forehead.

“You’re too good to me,” Dan reached up to run his thumb over Phil’s cheek.  There was stubble there, and it was unfairly hot.  Actually, Phil always looked like a god in the morning, and Dan was completely aware of how he must look like he crawled through a garbage heap.  That wasn’t even mentioning the whole issue of how Phil was so close while looking so hot, and Dan was desperately hoping that Phil didn’t shift at all because if he did, Dan had no idea how it would explain the fact that his morning boner hadn’t gone away and in fact, had only gotten worse.

“Hey, I get some pretty good entertainment out of taking care of you when you’re drunk so there are benefits to the job,” Phil giggled, evidently remembering something that Dan didn’t.

“Oh god, I don’t even want to know.” As long as Phil was still talking to him that was enough for Dan to not worry about it too much, at least for now.  “Can you get off me now?  I need to go shower.”

“That’s not what you were asking me to do last night,” Phil couldn’t resist joking as he got up and moved to the other side of the bed.

“Fucking hell,” Dan shook his head as he got up.  “I’m just gonna pretend you never said that.”

“Technically you were the one who said it.” Phil pointed out.

Dan just flipped him off in response as he walked out of the room.

“Love you too babe,” Phil called after him, laughing.

Two showers later (one cold: dan and one warm: phil) they decided to eat some cereal.  By some miracle Dan actually wasn’t nauseous and once the aspirin kicked in he felt fine.  Phil said it was all due to his impeccable skills when he took care of him but Dan quickly made him stop talking about anything to do with the night before.

“So, did you want to do anything today?” Phil asked as they were putting away dishes after breakfast.

“Mm, nothing in particular?  Why, did you have something in mind?”  It was only Saturday so Dan figured that any homework could be put off another day.

“No not really, maybe just some video games?” Phil suggested.

“Yeah, sure, that sounds perfect.” Dan agreed.

Truthfully Phil didn’t care what they did at all, as long it didn’t involve Dan going home.  Video games were also perfect for casually banter where they didn’t have to think too much about what they said because they both knew not to take anything too seriously.  Even though Dan was somehow better at most of the games, Phil didn’t mind losing.  Dan’s wide smile when he teased Phil about losing was enough for him.

“Oh Phil, look who’s gonna win again,” Dan taunted.  They were playing some shooting game that Dan had brought over a couple days ago, and Phil had still barely figured out the controls.

“Shut up,” Phil didn’t even glance over, concentrating on only the screen.

“Make me,” Dan looked at Phil when he said it.

But Phil was still looking forward.  “You’d like that wouldn’t you.” He replied easily.  It was ambiguous enough but both of them knew what was implied.

“It’s the only way you’d ever have any chance at winning.”  Dan watched Phil’s face for a reaction.

“Mm, I feel like kissing would distract me just as much as you so really it doesn’t seem like much of a plan at all.” Phil didn’t even flinch when he talked about them kissing anymore.  “This seems to be working much better to be honest.”

Dan looked back at the screen to see that Phil had somehow gotten more points.  “Fucking hell,” he exclaimed, immediately beginning to concentrate on the game again.

So the distraction technique of kissing was forgotten, talking about it ended up being enough because Phil won that round easily.

“I deserve a celebration kiss,” Phil joked afterwards.

“Fuck no,” Dan was always a sore loser.  “Rematch.  That didn’t count.”

“Alright,” Phil agreed smiling.  Maybe he’d let Dan win this game, at least to make him stop whining.

They continued playing video games for a while longer.  After that Phil forced Dan to started on some of their weekend homework and before they knew it, it was dinner time and Dan’s phone was ringing with his mom asking him to come home for once instead of staying at the Lesters.  Dan reluctantly agreed and said goodbye to Phil with a promise to be back over later if he could get away again.  It was almost weird sitting his quiet room alone once Dan left, Phil had become so used to there being the two of them there.

After eating dinner with his parents, Phil decided it would be a good time to just listen to music and chill a little.  It had been a long time since he had a chance to just sit and maybe doodle or something else litter while listening to some of his favourite instrumental music.  Dan used to always make fun of him for not listening to songs with lyrics but overtime Phil had convinced him that they were just as good.  They both especially loved songs with good piano and cello parts.

Tonight, though, Phil chose to listen to Moonlight Sonata because it was one of his favourites.  Of course that was mostly because Dan would play it on the piano for him sometimes when they were over at Dan’s house.  Dan would always insist that he was no good, and Phil would try to make him see how amazing he really was.  Phil wanted to tell him how the chord progression made the hair on the back of his neck stand up and his chest tingle, but that seemed a little weird to say so instead Phil just said that it was beautiful, that he would listen to Dan play piano forever.  And Dan would blush and turn back to playing so that he could hide it, and the playing would be the most beautiful thing that Phil had ever heard.

This song reminded him of Dan the most though, out of all the ones that Dan played.  But as Phil sat doodling a little but mostly listening, he was struck by how everything reminded him of Dan.  Video games, pancakes, the colour black, kissing.  And no matter how much time Phil tried to spend not thinking about what the last thing on the list meant, he couldn’t seem to escape it and the “breakup” that should have a happened a long time ago.

And no matter how much he avoided it, Phil was sure that he didn’t want the breakup to happen.  He had known that from practically the moment he had agreed to do this whole thing, he had just kept it buried deep enough that he didn’t have to think about what that meant.  Only now without even spending any time on the matter, Phil was suddenly certain that he loved Dan as more than a friend.  

With that realisation Phil could feel his mind begin to get staticy and his chest start to constrict because fuck, that wasn’t allowed to happen.  The walls were crumbling around him.  All the sleepovers with a bed casually shared and bowls of cereal at midnight and driving to school with the music blaring.  All the close to cuddling during movies and the accidental hands brushing as the walked.  It would all be gone if he messed this up.  

He couldn’t mess it up.

He couldn’t breath.  

Radio static.  Everything was crumbling.

Breathe.

“Phil, oh Phil,” There was somebody taking his hands into theirs, undoing the fists that Phil had clenched them into.  “Breathe, just breathe.”  They said softly, counting along to the breathes.

And when Phil could finally think again, he saw that it was Dan, and he felt like he might cry.

“I told you I would be back over if I could,” Dan saw Phil’s confusion as to why he was there.  “And I just walked in like normal, I hope that’s okay.”

Of course, Phil wanted to say, but he couldn’t quite form words yet.  Instead, he offered a shaky half smile.

“God, I leave you alone for a couple hours and this happens,” Dan smiled back sadly, alternating their fingers together as he held Phil’s hand.  He hated seeing Phil hurt like this.  “How about I tell you a story?” He offered.  “Maybe it will be a good distraction?”

Phil nodded.  He desperately needed to think about something else.  Dan was so good to him.

“Once upon a time,” Dan began smiling as that was kind of unnecessary but once Phil had told him that all good stories start with those four words, so Dan figured it was a good way to start.  “There were two boys who were the best of friends.

They had known each other since they were so little they couldn’t even remember first meeting.  Their moms told them that they had met at the park when they were babies.  Or maybe they had just been born already knowing each other.  Maybe they had come from the same star.

Whatever the case, they had been best friends forever.  They knew each other better than they knew themselves in almost every way.  

But there was one thing.  It started so gradually at first that neither of them noticed.  Until eventually, when they were in high school, it became hard to ignore.

Because you see, the two boys had fallen in love with each other.  They were both quite dense so they didn’t realise it at first, but it had always been there.  In the goodbye hugs, brushing hands, late night cuddling, and in the first time they kissed.

Once they did realise it though, everything made so much more sense and once they told each other nothing much changed but they were so much happier.  They finally allowed themselves to be in love.  And they lived happily ever after.”  Dan looked right at Phil as he said the last part.  He knew that this wasn’t really a calming down story but Dan knew Phil better than he new himself sometimes, and Dan guessed that it was exactly what Phil needed to hear.

“Do we get that ending too?” Phil asked quietly.  He desperately hoped that Dan really felt that way.

“If you want.” Dan could feel his heartbeat pounding in his head as he waited for Phil to respond.

“Yeah,” Phil smiled.  “I’d like that a lot.”

“Yeah?”  Dan grinned, “Are you sure because-”

“I’m sure,” Phil cut him off quickly, laughing as he pulled Dan into a hug.  Even though the shaking hadn’t quite gone away yet, Phil had never been more sure of anything in his entire life.

“God, I love you,” Dan said, his voice warm.  It was different from all the times he had said it before but it so many ways it was still the exact same.

“Dan will you be my boyfriend? For real this time?” Phil had to ask.

“Of course.”  The breakup wouldn’t have to happen now.  “Would it be alright if I kissed my boyfriend?” Dan leaned back to look at Phil when he asked.

And instead of responding, Phil just pulled him closer and kissed him hard.  

Dan and Phil had always been best friends, but this was undoubtedly even better.